The perfect combination of being awake, coffee, stride spearmint gum, music, the company of good friends, and the right environment= a pico study high.
The frequency of a study high for me fluctuates.
Today I have one....I understand, a study high shouldn't make me want to blog. I just want to share it with the world.
I am a nerd. I love learning. I love my major. I get really excited sometimes when I study especially with the above combination.
I love it!!! It's comparable for me to endorphins after a good work out.
Okay. I am done with my description. Back to the books!!! Wohoo!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
LOVE
I have to make a decisions in the future.
It's costly.
I hate the fact that I have to.
I need courage like no other and the ability to let go...and let God.
I am apprehensively awaiting before I do anything...I trust God, I really do.
It's just difficult.
LOVE.
Such a weighted word.
To love someone enough that I am willing to let them hate me.
Either for now or for the rest of my life.
That's a difficult decision to make.
But the real issue is I have to trust God to love.
This is the kind of love that can only come from God
It goes against EVERY human instinct.
To love like Christ is costly
The reward is greater
It requires abandonment
And to be honest, it's a really painful process
It's costly.
I hate the fact that I have to.
I need courage like no other and the ability to let go...and let God.
I am apprehensively awaiting before I do anything...I trust God, I really do.
It's just difficult.
LOVE.
Such a weighted word.
To love someone enough that I am willing to let them hate me.
Either for now or for the rest of my life.
That's a difficult decision to make.
But the real issue is I have to trust God to love.
This is the kind of love that can only come from God
It goes against EVERY human instinct.
To love like Christ is costly
The reward is greater
It requires abandonment
And to be honest, it's a really painful process
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Future Decided
I don't know the future....but My God does. He has clearly shut a door in my life and it seems as if He is opening up another one.
The problem (for lack of better words) is it's not something I would normally do on my own. It would require me to go way out of my comfort zone and make a decision I don't know if I want to make it. I don't know what to do. Nothing is seeming to make sense. All I am going to do is seek God's will...His call. I won't do anything else BUT that. He's in control.
Yesterday
Is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today
With every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more
Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be
Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
-Relient K, "Up and Up"
Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
- Mikeschair, "Let the Waters Rise"
The problem (for lack of better words) is it's not something I would normally do on my own. It would require me to go way out of my comfort zone and make a decision I don't know if I want to make it. I don't know what to do. Nothing is seeming to make sense. All I am going to do is seek God's will...His call. I won't do anything else BUT that. He's in control.
Yesterday
Is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today
With every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more
Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be
Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
-Relient K, "Up and Up"
Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
- Mikeschair, "Let the Waters Rise"
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Quotes to be Remembered
"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this."
-C. S. Lewis
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."
-C. S. Lewis
The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not."
-C. S. Lewis
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis
"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
— C.S. Lewis
"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."
— C.S. Lewis
"What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it."
— C.S. Lewis
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
"Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his."
— Benjamin Franklin
"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."
— William Shakespeare
"Are not lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it."
— C.S. Lewis
"A good conscience is a continual Christmas."
-Ben Franklin
"Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it."
-Ben Franklin
"Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most"
-Swedish Proverb
-C. S. Lewis
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."
-C. S. Lewis
The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not."
-C. S. Lewis
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis
"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
— C.S. Lewis
"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."
— C.S. Lewis
"What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it."
— C.S. Lewis
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
"Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his."
— Benjamin Franklin
"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow."
— William Shakespeare
"Are not lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it."
— C.S. Lewis
"A good conscience is a continual Christmas."
-Ben Franklin
"Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it."
-Ben Franklin
"Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most"
-Swedish Proverb
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Content
One of the best feelings in the world is feeling that at this point in my life I am closer to God than I have ever been. There are so many moments I think "God, I feel like I know you so well...I trust you. I have faith." Then I wonder, "Is it possible to get any closer to God?" I mean we're really tight right now....
That's one of the beautiful things about the Christian walk. As we continue to seek God and draw near to Him, He increases our faith and we have that closeness. During these moments I don't always "feel" as in an emotional high close to God necessarily (while that generally accompanies it as well) but rather it is a peace about life even when there are so many unanswered questions. So many things I don't know if I am doing them right...It's almost as if I feel like I am missing something---everything seems okay. I mean I don't have a terrible life but I have my own sets of struggles and stresses. But now I am at the place of complete contentment with the Lord. And when I use the word "complete" it means that He is increasing that completeness daily. I can acknowledge that stuff isn't always what I want it to be but I am becoming who I should be in view of the Lord and my passion is maximizing God's glory in every area of my life. I am in love with my Savior. He can make sense of the senseless things. I will question and wonder about areas of my life, but in the end I don't have to be anxious or worry because I trust Him.
I am in love.
That's one of the beautiful things about the Christian walk. As we continue to seek God and draw near to Him, He increases our faith and we have that closeness. During these moments I don't always "feel" as in an emotional high close to God necessarily (while that generally accompanies it as well) but rather it is a peace about life even when there are so many unanswered questions. So many things I don't know if I am doing them right...It's almost as if I feel like I am missing something---everything seems okay. I mean I don't have a terrible life but I have my own sets of struggles and stresses. But now I am at the place of complete contentment with the Lord. And when I use the word "complete" it means that He is increasing that completeness daily. I can acknowledge that stuff isn't always what I want it to be but I am becoming who I should be in view of the Lord and my passion is maximizing God's glory in every area of my life. I am in love with my Savior. He can make sense of the senseless things. I will question and wonder about areas of my life, but in the end I don't have to be anxious or worry because I trust Him.
I am in love.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Crisis situations
I am currently trying out to be an RA at Liberty. If you think applying for a job anywhere is challenging, you haven't tried out to be an RA here. I am completely at peace with making it or not...God knows what I'm supposed to do and that's okay for me!
Tonight we had role playing opportunities. One room we walked into there were three girls. One with (fake) blood and glass screaming, another girl with alcohol being very defiant and drinking, and another crying because her boyfriend broke up with her. It was chaos! We had 3 minutes to assess the situation and act and then explain in one minute why we did what we did.
I handled the situation well in the moment and all of the reasons why I should do something, but afterwards I think I went into a little bit of shock. I know it's not real and all that jazz but it was really stressful...I think mainly because I have in a sense dealt with all of those situations in one way shape or form (hospital visits and hardcore injuries, drinking problems, and boys) and to be confronted head on all at once felt like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from....
At the same time, I really enjoyed the challenge and to see what I'm made of...I guess I'm just more surprised that I got really anxious afterwards. In psychology I'm assuming that's what they called getting "triggered" by other emotions and life situations.
Tonight we had role playing opportunities. One room we walked into there were three girls. One with (fake) blood and glass screaming, another girl with alcohol being very defiant and drinking, and another crying because her boyfriend broke up with her. It was chaos! We had 3 minutes to assess the situation and act and then explain in one minute why we did what we did.
I handled the situation well in the moment and all of the reasons why I should do something, but afterwards I think I went into a little bit of shock. I know it's not real and all that jazz but it was really stressful...I think mainly because I have in a sense dealt with all of those situations in one way shape or form (hospital visits and hardcore injuries, drinking problems, and boys) and to be confronted head on all at once felt like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from....
At the same time, I really enjoyed the challenge and to see what I'm made of...I guess I'm just more surprised that I got really anxious afterwards. In psychology I'm assuming that's what they called getting "triggered" by other emotions and life situations.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Back to School Part 2
I had many goals upon coming to school, and since returning that I made over break that I have been focusing on and it's quite awesome to see how they have shaped my semester. Goals are good! Since there are quite a few updates on my life I will put them in a list formation:
1. I am now a radio host on Tuesday/Thursdays on 90.9 the Light our school's radio station. You can listen on thelightonline.com (only if you have a PC, I don't know why Macs aren't compatible). This is so much fun! Basically, I get to wake up at the crack of dawn and hang out with four of my friends and talk on the radio. This helps me in getting up early (as well as wanting to fall asleep) and I get a venue to express my corny jokes. I also had the priveledge of interviewing Dave Edwards, the speaker for Spiritual Emphasis Week and also the speaker at Student Life 08. That opportunity could be post in of itself.
2. I am now a broomball intramural player. I have never played broomball. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's like hockey but without skates. This could be potentially disastrous and wicked awesome
3. I woke up at 3:30 AM Wed to drive to Richmond to lobby the state legislature for Human Trafficking legislation. I loved it so much. I was able to do what I came to Liberty to do---make a difference in the political world. I am blessed to have amazing professors who fight for truth--truth NEVER fears a challenge. The 20 hour day was worth every minute of it!
4. I love my hall. Every girl, my leadership team, the RA's, the PL's and most of all my roommate. God has blessed me in every way in giving me the opportunity to live here and do his work. I cannot do it alone and I love the teamwork involved. I love everything about these girls--beautiful from the inside out. We can laugh together like no other and have so much fun as well as live for the glory of God together. Not without challenges but that's what makes it even more rewarding. I beyond grateful for the foundational friendship between Hadley and I last year that we could carry this on in ministry for a second year. I don't know what I would do without her as corny as it sounds. I am blessed.
5. I love my major. Enough said.
6. I work out at the gym now, I need this endorphin high.
7. God has blessed me in so many friendships. One I cannot be more grateful for is for my dear friend Missy Nickerson. He has shown favor upon me in allowing me to know her. I know that despite the 3000 something miles that separates us and 3 hour time change between California and Virginia that we are there for each other. She is an inspiration to me and someone that speaks truth into my life and can laugh at me and with me...to help me find strength in God and fight with me in battle. I am blessed.
1. I am now a radio host on Tuesday/Thursdays on 90.9 the Light our school's radio station. You can listen on thelightonline.com (only if you have a PC, I don't know why Macs aren't compatible). This is so much fun! Basically, I get to wake up at the crack of dawn and hang out with four of my friends and talk on the radio. This helps me in getting up early (as well as wanting to fall asleep) and I get a venue to express my corny jokes. I also had the priveledge of interviewing Dave Edwards, the speaker for Spiritual Emphasis Week and also the speaker at Student Life 08. That opportunity could be post in of itself.
2. I am now a broomball intramural player. I have never played broomball. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's like hockey but without skates. This could be potentially disastrous and wicked awesome
3. I woke up at 3:30 AM Wed to drive to Richmond to lobby the state legislature for Human Trafficking legislation. I loved it so much. I was able to do what I came to Liberty to do---make a difference in the political world. I am blessed to have amazing professors who fight for truth--truth NEVER fears a challenge. The 20 hour day was worth every minute of it!
4. I love my hall. Every girl, my leadership team, the RA's, the PL's and most of all my roommate. God has blessed me in every way in giving me the opportunity to live here and do his work. I cannot do it alone and I love the teamwork involved. I love everything about these girls--beautiful from the inside out. We can laugh together like no other and have so much fun as well as live for the glory of God together. Not without challenges but that's what makes it even more rewarding. I beyond grateful for the foundational friendship between Hadley and I last year that we could carry this on in ministry for a second year. I don't know what I would do without her as corny as it sounds. I am blessed.
5. I love my major. Enough said.
6. I work out at the gym now, I need this endorphin high.
7. God has blessed me in so many friendships. One I cannot be more grateful for is for my dear friend Missy Nickerson. He has shown favor upon me in allowing me to know her. I know that despite the 3000 something miles that separates us and 3 hour time change between California and Virginia that we are there for each other. She is an inspiration to me and someone that speaks truth into my life and can laugh at me and with me...to help me find strength in God and fight with me in battle. I am blessed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)