Moving Part 2

Charlotte. It’s been my home for well, my life. I took a two year hiatus when my family and I lived in Greece and I guess moving to college was another two year hiatus being at Lynchburg. But for all intensive purposes, Charlotte is the place I call home. 

I was driving home tonight after saying more good-byes to people that I love, the farewells that are open ended, the just-in-case-I-have-no-idea-when-if-etc our paths will cross again in the future kind of goodbyes. I realized a few things. I’ll put them in a list, mainly because it’s 1:30 AM and I think it will keep my thoughts organized. 

1. I don’t know if I have ever realized this, but man I am a homebody- it’s comfortable being here. I came back on Wednesday and have been essentially overloaded with living up my life here. I have seen countless friends and have been trying to fit my entire summer outings into a few days. It’s kind of exhausting, but it’s what I have to do. I feel like I owe it to people to say good-bye as hard as it might be. But despite how easy it is to jump into life here, I don’t think I ever thought I would actually end up in Charlotte. I have always had the desire to travel, to be adventurous, to explore. I guess the difference is I just wanted my parents to stay here so I could always have a place to come back to. But in reality, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. My parents are just as adventurous and willing to try new things as I am. They’re rational and know as hard as it is to leave, it’s time. 

2. I have a ton of friends. No joke. And I don’t say that in a cocky way. Looking back, I don’t even know how I have been blessed by getting to know so many different people, not just surface level things, but really well. I’ve always been the one to like to talk to everyone. I’ve never had just one friend…and like my Dad, I can talk to anyone and everyone, and well it shows. But the friends I have here in Charlotte, I have had to work for those friendships, just like anything else. However, my closest friends for the most part are Liberty people. There are a few from this town, but my Liberty friends, for the most part know know me for me now, not just who I was. They’re my current cohorts. They understand my environment. On the flip-side, it’s refreshing to be reunited with people that I have known before I have gone to college. I think I learn more about myself when I interact with them and remember a lot of different events that took place to shape me. 

3. Change can be good. This might come as a surprise from my previous posts, and my optimism might be based upon the cinnamon sensation sugar high I’m on right now, but it’s true. I think simply one of the biggest defining moments in my life of something that I chose was to attend Liberty. The other day I thought for a split second “What if I had never come to Liberty….” Well I don’t know anything with certainty for that answer, but I do know the facts. To name a few, my relationship with the Lord grew exponentially since I’ve gone to school, I have learned and had incredible opportunities, and to top it off, you my friend reading this…well, you wouldn’t be. Whether I met you at school or you are from home, these very words or the concept of blogging all came about from Liberty related things. I can’t imagine my life if I chose a different path. It’s just too weird.

4. The song “Sometimes” by David Crowder has been on my playlist lately. The lines “Where you go we will follow/I’m on my knees/Where you go we will follow/Oh God send me” has been resonating. This is my prayer. God has made it clear that He is sending me and I am entrusting Him. My life is one of total abandoment. He knows the big picture when I can’t see it, and I am at peace with that. 

5. I’m excited to begin working. I start next Tuesday and I couldn’t be happier…mainly, because I know that work will bring consistency. Also, I am confident that God brought this job along to me for a reason, jobs don’t normally fall into people’s laps so quickly.

6. I am emotional about moving and I’ve shed tears. It’s a pretty big transition. It’s bittersweet. Right now I’m feeling positive about it, because I’m ready. Doesn’t mean tomorrow I won’t be positive and sad at the same time. It’s going to be hard to leave, but I’m excited to begin and to be able to boast in the Lord of how far He has brought me…

I’ll toast to a new chapter in my life. 

Moving Part 1

Today I felt like me, distinctly, in three moments. 

The first was at church surrounded by a few Liberty friends in worship. I felt like somehow I was actually not even in my new church, but rather at Thomas Road. I felt at peace worshiping my Savior. I began to feel like myself again. 

The second was after church talking to my dear friend and RA from my freshman year, Danielle. I hesitate to say I felt like me, but it’s true once you reach a level of friendship with someone no matter how long it’s been since they’ve seen you they can literally look right into you and just know. It’s just like everything I’m feeling surfaced when I talked with her…

The third, I felt most like myself, was actually when I was talking to a complete stranger. I went to a little church mixer from my sister’s small group. Most of the people there were older and I felt out of place. But one of the mother’s told me that she wanted me to meet her daughter who was coming and needed to connect with other people my age and she was falling away from the Lord. Once she showed up I literally snapped into “make her feel welcome and reach out to her” mode. I felt like I was no longer the new kid but felt comfortable. I felt like me and that luckily continued into the night.

With moving I have ups and downs of emotions daily. There’s just a lot of change. But God is so faithful in it all. Of all the places I could have moved to, I know more people in this one area alone from Liberty which definitely makes the transition easier because I don’t feel completely alone. There’s an exciting city to explore, new church to attend, and the field I want to go into here is prominent everywhere. 

It’s not home, yet. Maybe once I have a real bed to sleep in at night and stop waking up at 4 AM like clock work it will be home. Or maybe right before I gear up to go back to school it will feel like home. I’m not sure because I always feel like I'll have a pull to Charlotte in one way shape or form. That's what home does. Maybe it's just a lessening of that pull will help....probably not. Charlotte will always be my first home and there are way too many people I love there to forgo the desire to want to go back. 

For now, I’m just gonna take it one day at a time and be grateful for the moments I’m not in a funk. 

O Chick-fil-A

Chick-fil-A at the Arboretum. My first job. This is the fountain they installed in the back of it in the latest remodel and it is just a glimpse of the excellence and class that this store has (let’s be real, what other fast-food restaurant has a fountain in the back of the store to admire while you wait in the drive-thru?)

Today I said my precautionary good-byes, as it might have been my last day there due to the move..I can’t quite accept the fact it was my last shift ever, it just doesn’t seem right to stop working there, it’s just become a part of who I am. When I told the owner, Art, I was moving and possibly transferring to another Chick-fil-A his response was entertaining. He said, “Don’t do it. You’ll be miserable. We do that on purpose, we show you how awesome you have it here and when you go somewhere else you won’t be happy.” It’s true though. I don’t know any other job where the owner greets every single one of his workers with a hug and smile, takes time to get to know them personally, invites everyone to his house for pool parties just because, makes smoothies to reward for hard work, opens up the word of God to every one of his employees, and created a system where he allows his employees to give less than a week notice at anytime to come back to work or take off for vacation. It’s a pretty sweet system. My third training session Art had the new employees over at his house where he had us do an exercise about our personal “signature.” He had us write down the name of two individuals closest to us and the characteristics we would hope they would say about us; then we signed our names. This exercise was to demonstrate the Chick-fil-A purpose. As an employee the signature of Chick-fil-A “is to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that He has entrusted us with.” 

One shift before I clocked on I was talking with Art about life and I said I needed to go start working up front. He stopped me and said, “Hey Pico when you go clock on, I want you to go make people’s day. You have the opportunity to interact with so many different people here and serve them. Go make their day.” And honestly, working at Chick-fil-A has helped me to learn how to do that. When God’s glory is the goal, everything else falls into place- even loving a perfect stranger who is buying chicken.

I have learned so many lessons from so many different people at Chick-fil-A from customers to co-workers to managers.

I know that while I might be moving I always have a home at the Arboretum Chick-fil-A. They are my family and I will come down and work a weekend just for old time sake because it’s a place I want to work because it’s refreshing.

There are few jobs people can say that. 

I am very blessed. 

Beginning of Summer Musings

I don't think I could fit all of my thoughts into one post, nor would anyone want to read all of them either:) But needless whenever there is an ending of something, such as the school year, and a start of something new (SUMMER), there's always a time of reflection that blogging is totally appropriate for.

With every semester I'm pretty sure I say it's been one of the hardest or more challenging than the previous one. At the same time I generally would say I have had more fun and such awesome experiences than the prior semester or time of my life. However, reflecting over the past two years at Liberty I can be confident in saying this semester completely rocked my world in terms of challenges and difficulties. To spare the details, I dealt with a lot of different challenges I was never faced with in the past. Many friendships changed in ways I would have never thought, I formed new friendships, was able to mentor and minster to my girls by God's grace and be used in some pretty awesome ways, I have had some of the hardest conversations with people I've ever had in my life, felt lonely lots of times, stressed, pure exhaustion, little bits of depression, and been totally drained. I grew up a lot this semester and I think I have changed a bit in many ways (yet also still remained me). There were many days I wanted to give up and my faith was challenged, but with the encouragement and strength only that God can give, I was able to push on to the end and finish strong. It's safe to say that I dealt with some real life issues this semester and needed God's guidance in how to move on. This semester God completely took me by the hand and drew me so close to Him and showed me His incredible unchanging character. I have fallen so in love  with my Savior and He has confirmed His faithfulness so many times in my life.

That leads me to a little story I'm hesistant to write about, since I still feel very undeserving and like it didn't actually happen to me, but I will share it because I know all the credit belongs to God. As an SLD on campus at Liberty we stay an extra few days to help with graduation. Most people head out of town before then, so I spent quite a bit of my time with a dear friend. Last Wednesday we decided to go shopping at the Goodwill. While I was there I received a phone call from the Dean of the Helm's School of Government's Secretary asking if I could meet with the Dean on Friday. I said of course but was thrown off as to why. She replied that it was concerning a scholarship. The next day I received an email designated for graduates telling them where to sit in order to receive their award at graduation. I showed the email to my friends and even made a joke about it on facebook...My initial reaction was that I joke about being a senior all the time, I even crashed the senior picnic, but did they really confused my graduation? O dear this is going to be awkward.

I arrived Friday morning to the Dean's office and wasn't quite sure what to expect. He asked if I knew why I was there and I explained I was pretty confused. He seemed happy about my confusion and had a big smile on his face and told me that I was the first recipient of the (Former NC Senator) Jesse and Dorthy Helms Scholarship. He said that they chose me out of all the students as someone who possessed courage, academic excellence, leadership, and other qualities...He also explained that I would meet Dorthy Helms personally at some point and amongst other honors involved. The meeting wasn't too long, but he confirmed the email, I was supposed to go to the Helm's School Graduation where the first announcement of the scholarship would be made. I left the office feeling overwhelmingly blessed...beyond words. The funny thing is I don't really know the dean that well, just some interaction...all of the things he said that he chose me for most people I don't think actually witness, a lot of it is very personal to me or what I like to call "closed door conversations." I felt like God was showering me with such an undeserved blessing and furthermore confirming my call not only to be at Liberty but my calling in life. The next day I walked on stage and received an award and was excited because my Dad was able to see me get it. I can't quite explain why or how or what happened, but it was so awesome to see God's blessing and confirmation after such a difficult semester. God has increased my faith so much and has by far blessed me in ways I didn't deserve. There were so many other people that could have and  should have won this award, but for some reason he allowed me to. I don't quite understand it, but I am amazed to see what the Lord has in store for me next.

Now I can say coming off of the semester, it was a tough one but it ended with an unexpected blessing from the Lord and the freshest thing coming home in my mind was the total confirmation of awesome God is in the way He works out details in our lives completely unforseen.

I want a puppy

I don't know what it is, maybe it's a growing up thing and being a girl, but i really really really want a puppy. I have been addicted to looking at pictures of baby animals lately...they are just so precious...so cute, so adorable...they're eyes of innoncence and they are just so pure. I LOVE it! It's the same exact way with babies and toddlers, I just love little kids. ( the reason I say I want a puppy is because I'm totally up for babysitting, but I'm not quite ready to be a Mom for years down the road...but Happy Mothers day to all the wonderful moms out there!!). I won't be getting a puppy anytime school because I am at college and I can't have one in a dorm nor would my parents get one. For now, I'll just continue to look at pictures and want one. It probably won't happen for quite some time, but a girl can dream!

Time Warp

It's crazy how so much can change and yet stay the same.

These are just some random thoughts, so you can work with me on this one, or not understand...I apologize in advance. And to note ahead of time, I am in a good mood, so if I sound emo...I'm not haha.

One of my good friend's from last semester is visiting this weekend. She used to live on my hall and we got pretty close. It was really weird when she couldn't return because I got so used to seeing her all the time. It's kinda like you don't realize how much time you invest in spending time with someone until they're not there. It's more different I think on a hall environment than at home, just because of dynamics....maybe because on a hall you have 69 options and than you can choose a few that you connect with...I don't know, it's just different. Or maybe it's just the Liberty world...

We were conversing though, and while it felt like something was missing and the new normal of not having my  friend here set in in the beginning of the semester, when I saw her again on the hall it felt like nothing had changed. Sure, life had moved on in many ways. Catching up was definitely in order, but it just felt the same...or maybe it just felt right. Some times time is weird cause it just felt like all that time had passed didn't really pass at all, as if the waiting period or time a part, sure it was long and it existed, but the present is here and nothing is really different.

That's how a lot of waiting is. Sometimes it seems like forever until a goal is to be achieved, and yeah a lot times a lot of days, months, years etc go by.

Like high school for instance. I never thought graduation would come, but now it's been almost two years since I graduated and it feels like a world away. I have changed so much, so many things have changed, but if I were to walk into Myers Park I could transport myself back in time even for a split second.

Or even a shift at work. Sometimes I really just want to clock off , it feels like it will never end, but it always does. No matter how long the shift is, it ends...I will get out of work and move on with my day.

I even remember being in a similar situation. It's difficult to describe the exact feeling, but when I lived in Greece I was gone for so long that it felt like Charlotte didn't exist anymore. While I knew it was there, it didn't feel real, it had been too long. But then, while I waited what felt like forever until I returned home again happened, I was suddenly there and I didn't know how to process it at all.

It's just weird sometimes when so many things change all at once, people, situations, life etc how nice it can be to actually have what you were waiting on happen....and then once it does, it feels maybe different, weird, or just plain good.

I don't know if I am making any sense at all, but those good moments are coveted despite all the bad ones that teach so much. I enjoy the blessings from above.

This semester has been nothing from what I expected and I think I say that about every semester to be honest. Mainly because a lot has changed. I miss the way things were but even more than that I am so hopeful for the future, not just next year at LU but just in general. However, I am also perfectly content in "the waiting" --the majority of the living of life and what takes place.

It's also nice to be reunited with familiar, quality people. There is nothing better than being in the same physical location as that person. Just sayin. I look forward to being home again with my family next week and in Charlotte, to see my home friends. I look forward to many reunions in the future. It's a sweet feeling :)

O time warp feelings... :)

Tumblr

I have started another blog on tumblr. I will still try and maintain both, but the other one is more of little blurbs updated on a day to day basis. Tumblr is much more visual and easier to use for reblogging and such. So if ya want to check it out feel free :) I'll update on here as well though, so stay tuned.