Carolina in my mind

I guess my last post was musical in nature, so here's to keeping a trending topic.

I'm currently listening to James Taylor "Carolina In My Mind." While this song has meant more to me since leaving the Carolina's officially the past summer, it has much sentimental value. 

Trip down memory lane: My junior year in high school my friends Sharon and Rasesh were all studying and doing homework at my little apartment. We had a fun time multitasking with Ultimate Frisbee of course, so after that time we came back inside and started working. The phone rings. Caller I.D. O boy, it's my crazy New York Uncle calling. Probably best if I let it go to the answering machine. These were the days where my family still had a house phone and answering machine where you can hear the other person leaving a message...basically scanning the calls at its finest. 

So not knowing what would happen next, I just let the phone ring and hope that he would hang up. Well my Uncle never does that. So next thing you know we hear this terribly  hilarious New York accent without any introduction begin to sing, "innn mmmyyy minnnddd I'm goiiiinnnggg to Carolllinnna." He proceeded to sing for us on the answering machine for what felt like forever. But a good forever because Rasesh, Sharon, and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing. Naturally, he didn't say anything. No introduction, no closing "Call me back." He just sang. 

I explained after the laughter that's just the way my Uncle is and luckily we could appreciate his humor that night. 

Speaking of my Uncle, later down the road when I was on the radio last semester he would call multiple times to the station and ask for me...or talk to my friends on the other line...they didn't know what was going on and  literally had a "look." They handed me the phone and through the New York mumbling somehow made it out, "Pico, I think the phone is for you." He eventually stopped calling. Hilarious moments. 

All that to say, I am no longer going to Carolina in my mind. I hit the road, Lord willing, this Wednesday to go see the Carolina blue skies and be reunited with friends. I haven't been "home" since June and I am very much so anticipating it. 

But at the end of the day, God has been teaching me so much since leaving. Sometimes picking up roots and leaving the town and people I so dearly love can rock  your world and give you so much fresh perspective on life. While the process has not always been fun, the Lord has been faithful...and the best part is I can always go back to Carolina. 

I'm expecting it to be a good trip of reconnecting, lots of laughter, helping two friends prepare for their summer wedding. But at the same time, I know God might have other plans. I want to be used by Him this trip. My prayer is that He will teach me and use me in ways I can never imagine. I also pray that this trip will be an energizing and refreshing time. As always, He is directing my steps. For whatever this little trip has in store for me, I couldn't be more excited right now. I was hit hard with homesickness in random sprouts throughout that past month at Liberty, but now that I'm in NOVA and I'm content here...it's been good to be with family! So for now, I'm going to Carolina in my mind. But come Wednesday...i've gone to Carolina. 

Dark and silent late last night

I think I might have heard the highway calling

Geese in flight and dogs that bite

Signs that might be omens say I'm going, going

I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

-James Taylor

The life of a melodramatic nerd

To B or not to B. 

I used to hate those kids in high school that talk about a B. Seriously would make me so angry...I would do anything for a B sometimes, and yet now I am saddened...haha. The life of a melodramatic nerd.

An 89 might possibly be the sickest joke...actually the point system is 890/1000...ten more points in one area...ten small points for the one assignment I slacked on.

Come on prof! Come on Pico! (Yes, I refer to myself by my last name...judge away).

The worst part is it's in Health 400. My lowest scoring classes in college are kind of entertaining at best: Spanish (I look Hispanic and fool most people that I am Spanish when I speak or exist for that matter...No I'm not Hispanic creepy guys that were checking me out at the Chinese restaurant today); Theology (I am an SLD and have been studying scriptures since birth); and Health (...okay, i wasn't really into infectious diseases and had my dear friend Chloe get me out of class for that....but I guess that says a lot about how I take care of myself? I'm an addict...to coffee. I didn't listen).

So here closes the part where I give myself a reality check. A 'B' is not the worst thing that could happen in my life and to be perfectly honest I am not even really upset about it (despite devoting a whole post to it). I even look forward to the humorous comments my parents are going to make... The Spanish conversation was the best. 

Here's to a great semester, in all honesty, I am blessed that I have the privilege of getting the education that I have! And a B matches my name. Boom!

Sing for joy- every girl every boy

I always tend to write a new post when I start breaks. So why break a new tradition? Transitions require a blog post.

I'm not exactly inspired at the moment to write anything deep or profound...or serious reflections of something that has happened, so I'll paint the picture for you of my life.


A beautiful December night the snow has turned this city white


Yesterday I took my last exam at around 1030 AM. By the time the exam came around, I was mentally checked out. But it was okay- I was stress free afterwards. Before that I woke up around 8 after having dreamed the whole night about bringing different people to the airport. With the real-life interactions, I'd say I pulled a mental all-nighter haha.

Let them ring. 

Finals week everyone has a different personality. It's quite entertaining at best. I joke it's a good thing I don't go to an Ivy League school, because everyone would have the "I just studied my guts out/I'm stressing about this" 24/7. They would also probably cope with partying as hard as they study.

I said I paint a picture of my life, and I failed to do that already. I'm sitting in my very clean room (white glove room checks) on my still made bed (don't want to get rid of the comfort quite yet) listening to Phil Wickham's Christmas album. The door is open and I can hear the few people on the hall. My wonderful-awesome-hilarious roomie is walking in and out getting ready for the day.

Today I woke up at 8 AM. Why? Because my friends wanted one last family breakfast with a good guy friend from our bro dorm before he headed out for Puerto Rico. And despite Kate (my roomie) and I groaning as we arose about our love for our bed, we we're ready for the quality time with each other.

Yesterday was a highlight of my semester. Maybe because I finished finals...nah. Probably because as tired as my eyes were, I was able to relax and just enjoy the people around me on the hall that God has graciously given me. I have this peaceful-thankful heart and would love to just live and cherish this moment forever.

They looked up and saw a star shining in the east 

Break is coming up. And I feel good about it. It's my first Christmas not in Charlotte....and man do I miss home. Homesickness has swept over hardcore the past few weeks. But I get to go home the end of the month. For that I'm stoked. The days pass quicker and too quick though. I'm going on a month break from school and part of me wishes it was August so I could cherish these moments one more time over. But that's okay, because as I sit here enjoying Phil's Christmas jam....

Sing for joy 

I'm a fan of every season- it ushers in a fresh perspective on life and appreciation for the present. And I'll stop before getting to philosophical.

O Come let us adore Him now

"I loveee you!!" Is what I just heard in the hall after I just got up to say goodbye to another friend.

Conclusion: It's been a different kind of semester (and honestly, I used to fear those words, but it's okay because it's a good different), a joyous time of learning, of ups and downs like every season, a time of self-introspection where God gently points me back to His grace, and a time where I will look back and say
"Man, college- those were some of the best years of my life. I'm grateful for the people who changed my life and these unique experiences of growth, fun, laughter, tears, trials, and joy."

30 more days and I return. Excited for the break and excited to return. Let's bring it.

Let's all within us praise his holy name. 

Thanksgiving Break

Tomorrow I go back to Northern Virginia to commence my Thanksgiving break. I am super excited to spend time with my family and just relax...and do homework (hopefully). I'll probably explore DC or the nova area because there is always something to do around there. My goal is to find a good study spot--cute coffee shop? I think yes.

As excited as I am to have a bit of a break from college I haven't been able to get Charlotte off my mind this whole week. Everyone I'm talking to is anticipating going home and have plans with to catch up with their family, spend time with friends etc. I have some plans as well but I haven't been dwelling on it too much cause so I don't get homesick...It's a weird place to be knowing that I won't be riding south to the crisp...but probably still hot Charlotte air and its surroundings that literally brings a smile off my face when I exit on 485 to Stonecrest.

In this hybrid state of my family moving and still having ties elsewhere, sometimes I make myself nervous with the little details I forget. The other day I literally couldn't even remember the name of the town my family moved to, to save my life...and usually as a nerd I am ridiculously good with details.

I have been blessed with good solid friends from Liberty that live in nova and some new friends from the summer I hope to catch up with. I just can't get over the familiarity of home...driving to Qdoba, Chickfila, Calvary, Starbucks, my friends houses where I just seem to be at peace, catching up with people that know me. I joked that I'll probably wind up skyping all my Charlotte friends over break. Truth is, that's probably true. I'll be back in the area for Christmas break for a little bit which is not that far off at all. It's not the end of the world not being able to go "home." With all the change, I am grateful for the familiarity of nova now and the adventures that can occur and am thankful for God's blessings.

Sometimes I just miss home and all that it entails.

To whom it may concern:

Sometimes I wonder if you exist.

I really hate it when my insecurities get the best of me.

I know there are godly men out there...I know them....but none of them are for me. Yet.

So maybe one of these days we'll have our "cute meet" and we'll both have that twinkle in our eyes.

And then you can write the long letter of thanks and send the multiple texts for organizing things to get the special moment for ready for me.


Yeah, I know life isn't a fairy tale or a chick flick.  Praise God for that.

But for now, I'm content waiting.

God's way.

Sometimes its hard...but I'll be ready for you when it's our time.

Til then, I'm continuing on this adventure called life and figuring out my steps.

The Calm

I wouldn't say I'm in a funk, but I guess I kind of am. It seems like everything is going on around me and there isn't anything major hitting me (which is great). The Lord has given me relief this semester from direct storms for quite sometime, which I am beyond grateful for...but the other day I found myself thinking "God where's the trial?" And that's a dangerous question. It's not like I'm testing God, which it can sound like that being written down but I'm almost confused at the relief. God has allowed me to live very prosperously the past few months and I have been counting my blessings left and right.

 I have been falling more in love with Him in different ways than I have in the past and my relationship with Him has been one where He responds to me directly in prayer...God knows the desires of my hearts and I'm struggling in different ways than I have before...nothing terrible, just different. He keeps on telling me like a loving Father, "I know Bethany. Be patient my daughter." It's difficult sometimes to be patient. I want to rush into things or for just things to happen but I have to remain true in the truths that I have owned about God's faithfulness and directing my steps. It seems as soon as I claim being content God tests my heart on it...in those moments He gently reminds me of His character and His love.

There is a season for everything.

Right now I am finding my contentment in where I am at and I am grateful for the calm...even though sometimes it keeps me up at night. Strange how things can be haha. My resting is in Him and Him alone.

I apologize if all of this doesn't make sense, my mind isn't always the best at communicating.

It matters

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and  slow to become angry."

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

My steps are directed

Recently I have come to the conclusion that God literally just places in me in situations. Most of the time I have no idea why I do what I do...it could be my interests, a sudden urge to get up out of my chair and walk somewhere, or just doing what I'm doing...not really asking for anything, but the opportunity is open. I don't always get the full plan He has, but it's okay because He does.

And He has been confirming His complete faithfulness to me so many ways these past few weeks. I am humbled by his grace and the opportunity I am allowed to participate in. With my new job I have had the privilege of being able to interview and meet some well-known speakers which seems kind of surreal. Even more surreal than that though, today I got a phone call from the government school inviting me to a reception with Michele Bachmann after convo Wed with a limited guest list and then to a reception for the Attorney General of VA. I didn't really know how to react because I feel very undeserving. I am not the best or most rehearsed in politics. I care on a daily basis about the things closest to my heart--my family, best friends, academics, making people's days and being an encouragement, and having fun and sweet conversations.

I don't really belong sometimes in the world I've been in, but for some reason God is arranging the details, making the plans for me and giving me a phone call and placement. I don't expect my life to change on Wed or anything of the sorts, nor even to meet Bachmann, but the experience is priceless and just another way that God is showing Himself faithful to me as I stay faithful to the call He has on my life. Of this I'm sure, I'm glad that I have no idea what the future holds, because I'm pretty sure I'd be scared out of my mind. I like the moment by moment direction. I need that.

May I never take His direction on my life foregranted nor forget How good He really is.

Weekend!

This weekend has been awesome.

Actually, this whole week has been pretty sweet. Despite the busy busy time it's been with all the different responsibilities I have had, I have also been extremely blessed to participate in all that I have had. God keeps on showing Himself faithful time and time again in the little things and big things of my life. I can't thank Him enough. I think one of the coolest moments I had this week was the opportunity to sit down with my pastor Johnnie Moore here at Liberty. Since this place is so big it's rare that you can get some one-on-one time with the upper guys. But with my new job I had to interview him so I had that time. After we did the interview with him I was able to talk to him and thank him for being my pastor and speaking truth in my life. It was a pretty sweet moment and I thank God for providing me that.

One way I've been overwhelming blessed in has been my friendships! This past weekend I had the awesome opportunity to spend some quality time with my dear friend Emily Ladnier. We have been friends since 7th grade  and she is part of the reason I'm here at Liberty. Since the move I wasn't able to spend my summer nights I cherish with her this past summer, but I am so pumped that we had the chance to go to the same school so we can spend time with one another. I honestly feel so uplifted when I'm hanging out with her. We enjoyed our night of salsa dancing, sleeping in, great Christ-centered conversation over breakfast, and spontaneous fun. I am grateful for the time I had with her this weekend.

Every time I sit down and thank God for things in my life I tend to get overwhelmed with awe on how He has given me such amazing people to know--those whose  hearts are passionate for Him- always pushing me forward to Him. I am in walking distance of such beautiful people inside and out. Two of best friends lives across the hall from me, I have an incredible roommate, and great friends in a small radius--Philemon 1:7

The rest of the weekend I spent footballin it up!!! What What! It started early in the day  with tailgating with the broskies and then in the stadium. One thing I love about this place is the sense of community--and this was no different. It  It was great to see the bonds form between people on the hall and with the bros and all gather together to cheer on the football team--HOMERUN!! Yeah, that's basically my knowledge of football, but I cheered hard, wore red, surprisingly stayed the whole time (it's typical to leave early) and saw an amazing fireworks show at the end of the game. At football games, or any big event, I have trouble sitting still. But really, I am always moving around to talk to different people--checkin in to see how everyone's doing, cheer hard, maybe even practice the same jokes on the different friend groups...at least I'm honest.

The time on the mountain has been nice this weekend...now today shall be spent sharpening my mind, getting down to business with my homework. But don't worry--I will end the night with my all-time favorite sport- BROOMBALL!!! Couldn't be more psyched.

Thank you Lord for a blessed past 7 days. You are too good to me.

Begin again

Year three at the good ol'LU and it has been off to a fantastic start!! Junior  year has been the year of familiarity and of change. It's familiar in the sense that I am now an upperclassman- I know the ropes that are before me- how to get around campus, where to eat, how to budget time for classes, friends etc. I am established in my major with my profs and higher ups. I understand leadership (cause I'm one of the leaders)... I know Lynchburg well and I go around campus constantly seeing familiar faces--for this I'm grateful for, I missed this back in NOVA.

Some changes include I live on a new dorm in a different part of campus called the hill. Yes, it's an actual hill with a ton of steps, so it's a grand time haha. But I actually enjoy the third floor. It's homey :)

It's the same in the sense that I have quite a few friends from both my previous halls on my dorm. It's different because every hall has their own dynamics. We have an awesome bro dorm, which is great. It's also different living so close to them and having such fantastic leadership from them and unity.

One of the biggest changes so far is my new job here at Liberty. Over the summer I randomly put an application in for a job as a writer for the news stories that go on the website. I forgot about it and assumed I wouldn't get it...well I got a call last week, interviewed, got offered the job and started working effective immediately. So now I get paid for all the events I go. Not gonna lie, I have very little experience as a writer, yet alone a journalist. I kind of feel like I just put on a hat I didn't know existed and I'm supposed to wear it like it's my job...because IT IS my job.

I get paid for going to convo (because I'm writing a story on it). I get paid for attending random events like the one I wrote about in my first article. It's a pretty sweet hook up. The down side is I have to be in the office at 8 every morning and leave close to 5 (with classes in between). The upside is I don't have to work nights anymore...So yes, I finally turned in my Chick-fil-A days. Thursday was my last shift....my pleasure.

With the new changes and shaping of the beginning of the semester I am still adjusting to life here on the mountain. The sheer familiarity can be deceiving. I may have unrealistic expectations and can't count on certain things or people. I have to be flexible to the new, which God is constantly teaching me.

Over the summer since I was in a new town I started becoming a homebody. I felt like my endurance isn't as great anymore, at least sometimes. I feel like I'm only focusing on people on my hall (which isn't bad) but not spending as much time with good friends who are in a different part of campus or moved off.

I've also tried to lessen my attachment to my cellphone. This is good and bad. Good because I don't want my life to be run by technology....bad because I miss things.

Sometimes it's just the little things that can make or break a day. I need to remember to give myself grace and find my own niche again like every year. Not be run by the familiarity, ignoring the new, nor get anxious about the new responsibilities and forget the past.

It's the beginning of the semester highs and lows...in it all, to be God be the glory.

Happy Birthday Celia!!!

Celia Jimenez. Words can't describe the blessing that you are in my life. I met you and your husband when God placed you guys in my life during a very pivotal time in my in my junior year of high school. Your personality and mine clicked automatically and from the very beginning I respected both of you so much. Despite the past experiences surrounding having youth pastors at Calvary, for the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly being shepherded my pastors. You challenged me in so many ways to push me to walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him in every good work. You told me the truth and held me to a higher standard, never backing down. You did all of this in the love and Christ-like compassion. When I couldn't hold my own head up to see into my future, you gave me a glimpse of what I could do and encouraged me to do it. You opened up your home to me and welcomed me into your life. And to this very day, I am still reaping the blessings of the time of high school. I know that you are always there for me in the hardest parts of my life and the most joyous and are only a phone call away....or even a drive if I needed to stay the night at your house. While we aren't physically close in the same location, the relationship that we have is merely one where we can pick-up where we left off. You and your family are my spiritual family and when I think of you I can truly say,  "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." Thank you for giving me the example of examples. "Imitate me as I imitate Christ." Thank you for being that person to me. I love you SO much and am incredibly blessed and honored to know you. I have the highest respect for you. 

Have an awesome fantastic happy birthday!!!!! Enjoy the cake!!! :)

Now that's a wrap

I just finished my last shift at Nordstrom Cafe (for everyone not familiar with this, it's a restaurant inside of the ritzy store Nordstrom). I landed this job and walked into the day I arrived here in Northern VA (or NOVA--that's what all the cool kids call it).

This summer has definitely been a summer of change. I arrived home to Charlotte on the  brink of my parents deciding to take the move to nova to seek job opportunity. I was challenged with the idea to stay in Charlotte. I had everything lined up-- the potential for my dream job I've always wanted since I was in sixth grade- to intern at Calvary's youth group and a part time work at Chick-fil-A, the job I've had loved since I was 16. The only problem was I don't have a car...Lorraine, may she rest in peace. So after exhausting my options, praying and seeking the Lord, and discussing it with friends and family I decided that moving up here with my family was the best option. A dear friend of mine told me sometimes the most practical options is God's way. If He doesn't open the doors for yes, continue on. So that's what I did. I packed up my Charlotte home with my family and drove up to NOVA and started at Nordstrom cafe with out even unpacking the boxes yet.


This job was a completely different experience. Only working at Chick-fil-A I was trained in high quality service. I know the whole nine yards--my pleasure, we are here to serve others, having managers that truly cared about our well being and loved us. My job was not really a job at CFA, it was a family and it was fun. But because of this environment I was trained in  how to work really well. My first day at Nordstrom I had a five minute overview of the register and worked it the whole day by myself asking a few questions (not knowing Nordstrom had a cafe I clearly knew nothing of the menu). Apparently this wasn't a common thing for most new trainees and I was told multiple times by managers and co-workers I was different....different for a variety of reasons. And I soon realized it wasn't only because of my training. Working at CFA I was in a Christian environment. Nordstrom was clearly not a Christian place. I was not accustomed to managers venting under their breath cursing out customers that made them frustrated, having a ton of different cultures bringing a ton of different religions (let's just say we have to inform every customer of the dishes that have bacon in them...because it's unclean and tonight being Ramadan I had three coworkers eating in the back as soon as it hit 815 pm). I realized that God put me in this place to be a light. I was able to share my faith with some of my coworkers and really just love them. It was such a unique and awesome opportunity.
I had my fair share of culture shock in general this summer. Let's just say nothing nothing nothing nothing compares to NOVA traffic. I got stuck in traffic on my regular 20 minute commute for THREE hours. I left work at 4 and got home after 7. I was traumatized. haha. But really. Traffic is an inevitable evil in this neck of the woods.


But also in this neck of the woods is one of the most exciting cities- DC! I like to say I was a professional tourist this summer. I had a friend doing an internship this summer here and her and I did every touristy thing including riding Segways on the national mall. I also did the double decker tour bus tour with my grandma who visited. WIN! I had so much fun the days and nights I went out. There is literally just so much to do and so much going on.


I was able to get plugged into a dynamic church- Mclean Bible. I can't quite say I experienced the community of Calvary, simply because life is just different here. I don't have the friendships built or the same church environment. But I made some good friends at the Tuesday night Bible study and was exponentially blessed by the fact that literally every other kid was connected to Liberty...so I wasn't a complete stranger. God worked out some pretty sweet friendships at LU that carried here.

There were many summer days and nights that went by I really wished I was in Charlotte or wanted to be somewhere else. That's a part of change and moving. I am stoked that I get to go back to Liberty and am anticipating familiarity and returning to my friends there. But yet, I know this year is unpredictable and I have no idea what God has in store for me. Last year my best friend said this year is a different kind of year. That was weighty for the events that took place. Well this year, I can't say it's a different kind of year, but it definitely will be a new year full of new exciting things, challenges, sleepless nights, stress, fun, and friendships and relationships.

To God be the glory. Greater things are yet to come.

The Four Loves

I admire CS Lewis and his writings o so much. I often have found myself reading various quotes online of this magnificent mind and one book that was quoted often was "The Four Loves." However, despite the attribution I never heard of this book like his other noted works. I decided to pick up this book and give it a shot---if it's that highly quoted, I want to know what those quotes really mean in their context.

"The Four Loves" describes the four different types of love that exist--affection (essentially, but not limited to family), friendship, erotic love, and charity (God's love). What I love about Lewis is that he is a philosopher--but he makes so much sense. You can't give up on him at the first inkling of not understanding what his point is but stick with it....once you do, slowly your eyes are opened to a whole new understanding. He fills his work with analogies and builds his books like a building--beginning at the foundation and working his way up.
I highly recommend that everyone read this book. For the Christian it is one of his most practical works--explaining truly, what is love. So everyone go grab a copy and a nice cup of coffee, you won't regret it.

Birthday!!!

I’m 20. 

Surreal? Yes, I have had mini panic attacks of “O my goodness….I’m growing up! What?! Why?! How?!” I’ve noticed if I don’t think about it too much it helps. haha. Peter Pan complex….I mean, I’ve always been the kid…even when I want more responsibility of an adult, I’ve always been at least by age still a teenager and kid. It’s a comforting fallback. I’m weird. 

But this day was completely unexpectedly awesome and yet very simple at the same time. Moving to a new town I wasn’t expecting to see any friends on my birthday. Well one of my friends from Liberty who lives about an hour and half away called me up and said “come outside” around 10 am. WHAT?! No way. She couldn’t have. No! Really? For me??!!?!?!? I ran outside and she greeted me with a white chocolate mocha in hand from Starbucks and some wonderful gifts. It was so refreshing to see her and catch up. Having a July birthday I don’t usually get the surprises on my bday cause most people are out of town or I’m on vacation, so it was special. 

Besides that today was just spending the day with my mom shopping for some wonderful seafood, cooking and eating a delicious meal with the family. It was a very relaxing day but my mom and I are going to do some more celebrating tomorrow “activity” speaking. 

I am also extremely blessed by the crazy happy birthday wishes my friends have been showering me with- from phone calls, texts, #happbdaypico countdown on twitter, to ridiculous fb posts (beanie babies and all :) ), this day was a special day. 

20-the best year yet. I can feel it :)

MY DAD GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After four years plus of unemployment, my parents took a leap of faith and decided to move our life up here for opportunity. God has blessed us in less than two weeks! SO. EXCITED.

Crisis

I haven’t dealt with a per say “crisis” since leaving Liberty. I’ve had a few different ones to deal with this past year and I guess the best way of putting with them is I err “deal” with them as they come. 

Today at work it was the lunch rush and pretty busy. I noticed that there were two ladies bent over on the ground and I thought that one of them had slipped. Well, before I knew it my coworker and manager were over there and I saw there was someone else on the ground passed out (it’s difficult to see because of the counter). I was stunned in the moment…wasn’t sure if I should go help or what had happened. I mean I’m not the most equipped in dealing with medical needs, but I know the basics. After making a split second decision that crowding her was probably not the best idea and my coworker showed that he was equipped in a medical emergency. I knew my job was crowd control. In a sense I had to tell myself to pretend like nothing was going on and continue taking orders so that the crowd doesn’t do more harm than good. This was hard for me, mainly because I was slightly shaking and what scared me even more was it was completely silent. All 20 people in line or so were just watching what was going on and no one was talking. Going from very noisy to nothing in seconds is noticeable… I asked for grace in the moment and continued my job realizing it was the best thing I could do. 

I realized a few things today…My heart rate sure goes up in crisis situations. It’s a rush, not the kind I like to say the least. I am no where near absent from crisis situations. I’m going to deal with them next year. I pray I won’t but reality is, I will. I just have to jump into crisis mode and make quick decisions and go…Process later. It gets easier to deal with those kind of situations the more they come, but I don’t want to be a doctor or anything like that…On the flip-side I wish I was trained in medical needs so I could help people better. Then the other realizations- my future job is ALL about crisis situations. Making quick important, split-second decisions, mixing logic, emotion, reality, all my knowledge and knowing what role I play and doing it with excellence. I just feel like I’ll never be prepared ENOUGH for what will come. That’s why I’m so glad God’s grace is enough. Always. 

Moving Part 2

Charlotte. It’s been my home for well, my life. I took a two year hiatus when my family and I lived in Greece and I guess moving to college was another two year hiatus being at Lynchburg. But for all intensive purposes, Charlotte is the place I call home. 

I was driving home tonight after saying more good-byes to people that I love, the farewells that are open ended, the just-in-case-I-have-no-idea-when-if-etc our paths will cross again in the future kind of goodbyes. I realized a few things. I’ll put them in a list, mainly because it’s 1:30 AM and I think it will keep my thoughts organized. 

1. I don’t know if I have ever realized this, but man I am a homebody- it’s comfortable being here. I came back on Wednesday and have been essentially overloaded with living up my life here. I have seen countless friends and have been trying to fit my entire summer outings into a few days. It’s kind of exhausting, but it’s what I have to do. I feel like I owe it to people to say good-bye as hard as it might be. But despite how easy it is to jump into life here, I don’t think I ever thought I would actually end up in Charlotte. I have always had the desire to travel, to be adventurous, to explore. I guess the difference is I just wanted my parents to stay here so I could always have a place to come back to. But in reality, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. My parents are just as adventurous and willing to try new things as I am. They’re rational and know as hard as it is to leave, it’s time. 

2. I have a ton of friends. No joke. And I don’t say that in a cocky way. Looking back, I don’t even know how I have been blessed by getting to know so many different people, not just surface level things, but really well. I’ve always been the one to like to talk to everyone. I’ve never had just one friend…and like my Dad, I can talk to anyone and everyone, and well it shows. But the friends I have here in Charlotte, I have had to work for those friendships, just like anything else. However, my closest friends for the most part are Liberty people. There are a few from this town, but my Liberty friends, for the most part know know me for me now, not just who I was. They’re my current cohorts. They understand my environment. On the flip-side, it’s refreshing to be reunited with people that I have known before I have gone to college. I think I learn more about myself when I interact with them and remember a lot of different events that took place to shape me. 

3. Change can be good. This might come as a surprise from my previous posts, and my optimism might be based upon the cinnamon sensation sugar high I’m on right now, but it’s true. I think simply one of the biggest defining moments in my life of something that I chose was to attend Liberty. The other day I thought for a split second “What if I had never come to Liberty….” Well I don’t know anything with certainty for that answer, but I do know the facts. To name a few, my relationship with the Lord grew exponentially since I’ve gone to school, I have learned and had incredible opportunities, and to top it off, you my friend reading this…well, you wouldn’t be. Whether I met you at school or you are from home, these very words or the concept of blogging all came about from Liberty related things. I can’t imagine my life if I chose a different path. It’s just too weird.

4. The song “Sometimes” by David Crowder has been on my playlist lately. The lines “Where you go we will follow/I’m on my knees/Where you go we will follow/Oh God send me” has been resonating. This is my prayer. God has made it clear that He is sending me and I am entrusting Him. My life is one of total abandoment. He knows the big picture when I can’t see it, and I am at peace with that. 

5. I’m excited to begin working. I start next Tuesday and I couldn’t be happier…mainly, because I know that work will bring consistency. Also, I am confident that God brought this job along to me for a reason, jobs don’t normally fall into people’s laps so quickly.

6. I am emotional about moving and I’ve shed tears. It’s a pretty big transition. It’s bittersweet. Right now I’m feeling positive about it, because I’m ready. Doesn’t mean tomorrow I won’t be positive and sad at the same time. It’s going to be hard to leave, but I’m excited to begin and to be able to boast in the Lord of how far He has brought me…

I’ll toast to a new chapter in my life. 

Moving Part 1

Today I felt like me, distinctly, in three moments. 

The first was at church surrounded by a few Liberty friends in worship. I felt like somehow I was actually not even in my new church, but rather at Thomas Road. I felt at peace worshiping my Savior. I began to feel like myself again. 

The second was after church talking to my dear friend and RA from my freshman year, Danielle. I hesitate to say I felt like me, but it’s true once you reach a level of friendship with someone no matter how long it’s been since they’ve seen you they can literally look right into you and just know. It’s just like everything I’m feeling surfaced when I talked with her…

The third, I felt most like myself, was actually when I was talking to a complete stranger. I went to a little church mixer from my sister’s small group. Most of the people there were older and I felt out of place. But one of the mother’s told me that she wanted me to meet her daughter who was coming and needed to connect with other people my age and she was falling away from the Lord. Once she showed up I literally snapped into “make her feel welcome and reach out to her” mode. I felt like I was no longer the new kid but felt comfortable. I felt like me and that luckily continued into the night.

With moving I have ups and downs of emotions daily. There’s just a lot of change. But God is so faithful in it all. Of all the places I could have moved to, I know more people in this one area alone from Liberty which definitely makes the transition easier because I don’t feel completely alone. There’s an exciting city to explore, new church to attend, and the field I want to go into here is prominent everywhere. 

It’s not home, yet. Maybe once I have a real bed to sleep in at night and stop waking up at 4 AM like clock work it will be home. Or maybe right before I gear up to go back to school it will feel like home. I’m not sure because I always feel like I'll have a pull to Charlotte in one way shape or form. That's what home does. Maybe it's just a lessening of that pull will help....probably not. Charlotte will always be my first home and there are way too many people I love there to forgo the desire to want to go back. 

For now, I’m just gonna take it one day at a time and be grateful for the moments I’m not in a funk. 

O Chick-fil-A

Chick-fil-A at the Arboretum. My first job. This is the fountain they installed in the back of it in the latest remodel and it is just a glimpse of the excellence and class that this store has (let’s be real, what other fast-food restaurant has a fountain in the back of the store to admire while you wait in the drive-thru?)

Today I said my precautionary good-byes, as it might have been my last day there due to the move..I can’t quite accept the fact it was my last shift ever, it just doesn’t seem right to stop working there, it’s just become a part of who I am. When I told the owner, Art, I was moving and possibly transferring to another Chick-fil-A his response was entertaining. He said, “Don’t do it. You’ll be miserable. We do that on purpose, we show you how awesome you have it here and when you go somewhere else you won’t be happy.” It’s true though. I don’t know any other job where the owner greets every single one of his workers with a hug and smile, takes time to get to know them personally, invites everyone to his house for pool parties just because, makes smoothies to reward for hard work, opens up the word of God to every one of his employees, and created a system where he allows his employees to give less than a week notice at anytime to come back to work or take off for vacation. It’s a pretty sweet system. My third training session Art had the new employees over at his house where he had us do an exercise about our personal “signature.” He had us write down the name of two individuals closest to us and the characteristics we would hope they would say about us; then we signed our names. This exercise was to demonstrate the Chick-fil-A purpose. As an employee the signature of Chick-fil-A “is to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that He has entrusted us with.” 

One shift before I clocked on I was talking with Art about life and I said I needed to go start working up front. He stopped me and said, “Hey Pico when you go clock on, I want you to go make people’s day. You have the opportunity to interact with so many different people here and serve them. Go make their day.” And honestly, working at Chick-fil-A has helped me to learn how to do that. When God’s glory is the goal, everything else falls into place- even loving a perfect stranger who is buying chicken.

I have learned so many lessons from so many different people at Chick-fil-A from customers to co-workers to managers.

I know that while I might be moving I always have a home at the Arboretum Chick-fil-A. They are my family and I will come down and work a weekend just for old time sake because it’s a place I want to work because it’s refreshing.

There are few jobs people can say that. 

I am very blessed. 

Beginning of Summer Musings

I don't think I could fit all of my thoughts into one post, nor would anyone want to read all of them either:) But needless whenever there is an ending of something, such as the school year, and a start of something new (SUMMER), there's always a time of reflection that blogging is totally appropriate for.

With every semester I'm pretty sure I say it's been one of the hardest or more challenging than the previous one. At the same time I generally would say I have had more fun and such awesome experiences than the prior semester or time of my life. However, reflecting over the past two years at Liberty I can be confident in saying this semester completely rocked my world in terms of challenges and difficulties. To spare the details, I dealt with a lot of different challenges I was never faced with in the past. Many friendships changed in ways I would have never thought, I formed new friendships, was able to mentor and minster to my girls by God's grace and be used in some pretty awesome ways, I have had some of the hardest conversations with people I've ever had in my life, felt lonely lots of times, stressed, pure exhaustion, little bits of depression, and been totally drained. I grew up a lot this semester and I think I have changed a bit in many ways (yet also still remained me). There were many days I wanted to give up and my faith was challenged, but with the encouragement and strength only that God can give, I was able to push on to the end and finish strong. It's safe to say that I dealt with some real life issues this semester and needed God's guidance in how to move on. This semester God completely took me by the hand and drew me so close to Him and showed me His incredible unchanging character. I have fallen so in love  with my Savior and He has confirmed His faithfulness so many times in my life.

That leads me to a little story I'm hesistant to write about, since I still feel very undeserving and like it didn't actually happen to me, but I will share it because I know all the credit belongs to God. As an SLD on campus at Liberty we stay an extra few days to help with graduation. Most people head out of town before then, so I spent quite a bit of my time with a dear friend. Last Wednesday we decided to go shopping at the Goodwill. While I was there I received a phone call from the Dean of the Helm's School of Government's Secretary asking if I could meet with the Dean on Friday. I said of course but was thrown off as to why. She replied that it was concerning a scholarship. The next day I received an email designated for graduates telling them where to sit in order to receive their award at graduation. I showed the email to my friends and even made a joke about it on facebook...My initial reaction was that I joke about being a senior all the time, I even crashed the senior picnic, but did they really confused my graduation? O dear this is going to be awkward.

I arrived Friday morning to the Dean's office and wasn't quite sure what to expect. He asked if I knew why I was there and I explained I was pretty confused. He seemed happy about my confusion and had a big smile on his face and told me that I was the first recipient of the (Former NC Senator) Jesse and Dorthy Helms Scholarship. He said that they chose me out of all the students as someone who possessed courage, academic excellence, leadership, and other qualities...He also explained that I would meet Dorthy Helms personally at some point and amongst other honors involved. The meeting wasn't too long, but he confirmed the email, I was supposed to go to the Helm's School Graduation where the first announcement of the scholarship would be made. I left the office feeling overwhelmingly blessed...beyond words. The funny thing is I don't really know the dean that well, just some interaction...all of the things he said that he chose me for most people I don't think actually witness, a lot of it is very personal to me or what I like to call "closed door conversations." I felt like God was showering me with such an undeserved blessing and furthermore confirming my call not only to be at Liberty but my calling in life. The next day I walked on stage and received an award and was excited because my Dad was able to see me get it. I can't quite explain why or how or what happened, but it was so awesome to see God's blessing and confirmation after such a difficult semester. God has increased my faith so much and has by far blessed me in ways I didn't deserve. There were so many other people that could have and  should have won this award, but for some reason he allowed me to. I don't quite understand it, but I am amazed to see what the Lord has in store for me next.

Now I can say coming off of the semester, it was a tough one but it ended with an unexpected blessing from the Lord and the freshest thing coming home in my mind was the total confirmation of awesome God is in the way He works out details in our lives completely unforseen.

I want a puppy

I don't know what it is, maybe it's a growing up thing and being a girl, but i really really really want a puppy. I have been addicted to looking at pictures of baby animals lately...they are just so precious...so cute, so adorable...they're eyes of innoncence and they are just so pure. I LOVE it! It's the same exact way with babies and toddlers, I just love little kids. ( the reason I say I want a puppy is because I'm totally up for babysitting, but I'm not quite ready to be a Mom for years down the road...but Happy Mothers day to all the wonderful moms out there!!). I won't be getting a puppy anytime school because I am at college and I can't have one in a dorm nor would my parents get one. For now, I'll just continue to look at pictures and want one. It probably won't happen for quite some time, but a girl can dream!

Time Warp

It's crazy how so much can change and yet stay the same.

These are just some random thoughts, so you can work with me on this one, or not understand...I apologize in advance. And to note ahead of time, I am in a good mood, so if I sound emo...I'm not haha.

One of my good friend's from last semester is visiting this weekend. She used to live on my hall and we got pretty close. It was really weird when she couldn't return because I got so used to seeing her all the time. It's kinda like you don't realize how much time you invest in spending time with someone until they're not there. It's more different I think on a hall environment than at home, just because of dynamics....maybe because on a hall you have 69 options and than you can choose a few that you connect with...I don't know, it's just different. Or maybe it's just the Liberty world...

We were conversing though, and while it felt like something was missing and the new normal of not having my  friend here set in in the beginning of the semester, when I saw her again on the hall it felt like nothing had changed. Sure, life had moved on in many ways. Catching up was definitely in order, but it just felt the same...or maybe it just felt right. Some times time is weird cause it just felt like all that time had passed didn't really pass at all, as if the waiting period or time a part, sure it was long and it existed, but the present is here and nothing is really different.

That's how a lot of waiting is. Sometimes it seems like forever until a goal is to be achieved, and yeah a lot times a lot of days, months, years etc go by.

Like high school for instance. I never thought graduation would come, but now it's been almost two years since I graduated and it feels like a world away. I have changed so much, so many things have changed, but if I were to walk into Myers Park I could transport myself back in time even for a split second.

Or even a shift at work. Sometimes I really just want to clock off , it feels like it will never end, but it always does. No matter how long the shift is, it ends...I will get out of work and move on with my day.

I even remember being in a similar situation. It's difficult to describe the exact feeling, but when I lived in Greece I was gone for so long that it felt like Charlotte didn't exist anymore. While I knew it was there, it didn't feel real, it had been too long. But then, while I waited what felt like forever until I returned home again happened, I was suddenly there and I didn't know how to process it at all.

It's just weird sometimes when so many things change all at once, people, situations, life etc how nice it can be to actually have what you were waiting on happen....and then once it does, it feels maybe different, weird, or just plain good.

I don't know if I am making any sense at all, but those good moments are coveted despite all the bad ones that teach so much. I enjoy the blessings from above.

This semester has been nothing from what I expected and I think I say that about every semester to be honest. Mainly because a lot has changed. I miss the way things were but even more than that I am so hopeful for the future, not just next year at LU but just in general. However, I am also perfectly content in "the waiting" --the majority of the living of life and what takes place.

It's also nice to be reunited with familiar, quality people. There is nothing better than being in the same physical location as that person. Just sayin. I look forward to being home again with my family next week and in Charlotte, to see my home friends. I look forward to many reunions in the future. It's a sweet feeling :)

O time warp feelings... :)

Tumblr

I have started another blog on tumblr. I will still try and maintain both, but the other one is more of little blurbs updated on a day to day basis. Tumblr is much more visual and easier to use for reblogging and such. So if ya want to check it out feel free :) I'll update on here as well though, so stay tuned.

Saturday Night Prayer

I got my guitar out tonight and just started playing. It's been months since I've played...I think I have had my guitar in my closet the whole semester.

After getting in the groove I found some peaceful and calming music and started to play and worship my King. Usually I find some chords that I play around with and many times I just sing what comes to my heart as a prayer. Most of the time I can't remember anything afterwards...it's a song just in that moment. But tonight a few words kept on coming to mind:

As I lay my head upon your chest

It's here and only here that I find rest

It's only me and you and this melody

I sing to you, my daddy, my king

I find rest

Suffering- John Piper

The truth of God's word is incredibly powerful. It gives strength and comfort---it is a real relationship. The best that exists.

Motivation

Definition (noun)::the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior



Motivation.
Something I feel as if I have been lacking lately. I really needed a break from life. Spring break came at a good time.
I got into the swing of things of life here at school, but so much had gone on that I wasn't doing so well for many reasons.
But I lost motivation to do well, to pursue certain goals, my focus was different.
I returned to school apprehensive that I would fall into a trap again, lack motivation, be lazy or distracted. But for some reason today was a good day. The motivation that I thought was going to be gone suddenly came back. I for some reason was alert in classes today for the first time in probably a month or so.
It's crazy how a week away from the what has become the routine made the routine make sense again...
I'm not a 100 percent or anything, by any means, but somehow I have that motivation that was lacking. I'll take advantage of it for as long as I can.
The main motivation that was gone was motivation for school itself (academics). For someone who loves to learn it's a very weird place to be...didn't quite feel like myself at all for that reason.
But out of nowhere I woke up, suprisingly, completely different.
Maybe I should be anxious about this more often, and then BAM- motivation will hit me!
Or maybe not. haha.
For now I'll be grateful for what I have and finish writing so I can go read my Psych book- something I'm actually somewhat excited to do!

Yes, I lived in Greece

Everyone for the most parts knows the random fact that I lived in Greece for two years during middle school. I used to talk about it all the time, well, it was my life. Every now and then I'll speak a few phrases here or there or make a joke about cultural differences, but I've for the most part readjusted to the American life (while the world view I gained has strongly dictated my life).

Upon leaving Greece I was about 75 percent fluent, not bad for two years, but I've lost quite a bit of it. When we returned to the states I started high school and began learning Spanish. It's easier to learn a third language, than second, because you know how to learn a language.

Yesterday at work I was taking an order from grandparents for their grandkids. I noticed that they were not from the states, but couldn't pin-point where. Usually I don't ask where they are from or I have a pretty good guess-timator, but for some reason I couldn't pin-point their whereabouts and decided to ask. She responded at first with, "Why?" I said I was just wondering and she said "Greece." I was thrown off for a split second cause usually my Greek-dar is really good, but I simply smiled and said I used to live there. We began conversing in Greek for a bit about different things. It was like trying to learn to ride a bike again accessing that part of the brain. I knew what I wanted to say and tried to understand what she was saying, but it's been such a long time since I've spoken real Greek to anyone (meaning I hear ancient biblical Greek phrases here and there often in the Liberty world). I reverted to some English with her and some phrases were Spanish. Literally I felt like Spanish and Greek were having a fight with each other. I was trying so hard to say something in Greek but Spanish was the only thing that was coming to mind. After a while the Greek came back with more of an ease, but I really had to think hard about it.

I still can't fathom how my grandfather spoke nine languages.

It was funny because one of my managers stood next to me and witnessed the whole thing. He commented afterwards, "Pico that was so cool! At first I thought you were speaking Spanish, then I realized I couldn't understand you." I explained, that it was indeed Greek, but the reason he thought he heard Spanish was because he did. The mind is plays interesting tricks on you!

The other thing that has struck me as strange is I have a strong desire to go back to Greece. I haven't had this desire....well, ever before. Last week in class I looked up pictures of Volos the town I lived in and couldn't stop thinking about it. I realized that I want to go back. I want to walk the streets I walked, eat at a taverna on the sea, see if the stray dogs are still alive on the same street corners, go back to Nikotsara and look at the flat I lived in above a chicken store, see the people that are still there, drink a frappe on the boardwalk....

It was home for two years of my life.

It's a port city, I lived two blocks from the Aegean Sea

A normal view while walking on the board-walk

The train station- many interesting experiences here. It was the only way pretty much in and out of the town. I always thought it looked very western.

A Greek Orthodox church on the boardwalk two blocks from my home. I also went to a wedding here.

Over Christmas break my family was telling stories about our time there and I didn't realize how much I forgot. Maybe because I was younger, maybe because some of it was slightly traumatic, or maybe there is no reason for the way the mind works.

All I know is I want to go back. I want to pick up the language again so that I speak Greek when I'm trying to speak Spanish.
I don't have a a return plan, but if anyone wants to accompany me, lemme know parakalo! :)

Basketball

I grew up shooting hoops in my culdesac. Whenever I had a free moment I would go outside and play. My dad taught me how and he would run drills with me and play when he got home from work...A lot of times the neighborhood kids would join in too. I remember dreaming of being in the WNBA, with hard work and determination I was going to make it (I even planned the speech I was going to give my neighbor thanking him for letting me use the hoop he put up).

Well childhood dreams don't always come true, but I still love playing the game. This semester after class a few times a week I go to the gym and rent a basketball and just shoot hoops. Nothing too intense and I'm usually just alone with the company of my music. It's such a relaxing exercise where I can think about my day or life or nothing at all. Yesterday and today I played bball with my dad and some neighborhood kids.

I guess somethings never change, I regress.

Communication

I like to think that I am a good communicator. I am in touch with the English language, it's intricacies (not always grammar though, so don't judge), picking up on social cues, assessing situations and knowing what to say. I have an argumentative nature as well and know that sometimes I can be manipulative if I want, especially with my speech. I was hanging out with my best friend yesterday and she said I could talk my way out of anything. I laughed and acknowledged I do have a gift (no pride. ha).
But this gift, while it has helped me in many ways relate to people and make friendships, can also hurt me in the long run. I have said really really really stupid stuff. My filter isn't always on and I have complete garbage come out of my mouth...while sometimes I am dead on, other times, I am selfish, and just say what's on my mind rather than truly thinking of what the other person may need to hear or in many cases doesn't need to hear. Words have the power for life and death...and sometimes, the latter applies for me. I tear down, when I want to build up, or worse...my intentions are selfish and, for lack of better words: epic fail.
So to the few people that actually read this blog, while I know there aren't many, this is just a rant on how I should essentially shut-up sometimes. I am sorry and apologize if I have hurt you with my speech or not recognizing your needs above my own. I say some really stupid stuff sometimes and I acknowledge this "epic fail."
On the flip-side, most of the time when I get caught in this verbal fail, my intentions are generally right...I just lack in the communication (or lack in not knowing what to say). I am attempting to become more intutive and could kick myself for lacking sometimes. I am a work in progress.
Like a close friend once told me, once it's said, you can't take it back. You know the thought...I think of Heart of Darkness an amazing book that shows this concept antithetically. The theme "man is lost without restraint." I need to practice self-control just like Marlow did.
I love you all and will hopefully get better.

3 days

I'm going home in 3 days. Only 3 days. I haven't been to Charlotte since January...it's been a while! I don't even know if I can start to process what has happened this semester, where it has gone, what I have one or anything.
One thing I can say, is I have lost motivation...I am not doing as well in my classes as I should be. I am more tired and less motivated to study. I have two tests I haven't studied for and I had a quiz today I didn't even to bother to read the book. I am getting by (meaning, I have mostly A's with a little room for mistakes) but I have just lost motivation and I have stopped caring. It's very unlike me...maybe that's why spring break is coming!
HOME.
One of the best four letter words besides LOVE.
HOME.
Charlotte, NC. I will be seeing you soon...and yoforia! Ah, sweet yoforia. And family and friends that are so refreshing. My own bed. Lazily watching tv. Possibly working. Home. Riding my bike in the neighborhood, going to my own church, enjoying the Carolina blue skies and weather. Drinking coffee, home cooked meals. Ah, sounds like a piece of heaven.
I don't know what's in store for this break, but I know that I will experience a tad bit of home....and I just can't wait.

Give Me Faith

I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You're shaping my life

All I am,
I surrender

Give me faith to trust what you say
That you're good and your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give you my life

I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart

I need you pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me


I may be weak
Your spirit strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will


May these words be true in my life and in the life of others. I love you and praying this prayer. No shame :)