Yes, I lived in Greece

Everyone for the most parts knows the random fact that I lived in Greece for two years during middle school. I used to talk about it all the time, well, it was my life. Every now and then I'll speak a few phrases here or there or make a joke about cultural differences, but I've for the most part readjusted to the American life (while the world view I gained has strongly dictated my life).

Upon leaving Greece I was about 75 percent fluent, not bad for two years, but I've lost quite a bit of it. When we returned to the states I started high school and began learning Spanish. It's easier to learn a third language, than second, because you know how to learn a language.

Yesterday at work I was taking an order from grandparents for their grandkids. I noticed that they were not from the states, but couldn't pin-point where. Usually I don't ask where they are from or I have a pretty good guess-timator, but for some reason I couldn't pin-point their whereabouts and decided to ask. She responded at first with, "Why?" I said I was just wondering and she said "Greece." I was thrown off for a split second cause usually my Greek-dar is really good, but I simply smiled and said I used to live there. We began conversing in Greek for a bit about different things. It was like trying to learn to ride a bike again accessing that part of the brain. I knew what I wanted to say and tried to understand what she was saying, but it's been such a long time since I've spoken real Greek to anyone (meaning I hear ancient biblical Greek phrases here and there often in the Liberty world). I reverted to some English with her and some phrases were Spanish. Literally I felt like Spanish and Greek were having a fight with each other. I was trying so hard to say something in Greek but Spanish was the only thing that was coming to mind. After a while the Greek came back with more of an ease, but I really had to think hard about it.

I still can't fathom how my grandfather spoke nine languages.

It was funny because one of my managers stood next to me and witnessed the whole thing. He commented afterwards, "Pico that was so cool! At first I thought you were speaking Spanish, then I realized I couldn't understand you." I explained, that it was indeed Greek, but the reason he thought he heard Spanish was because he did. The mind is plays interesting tricks on you!

The other thing that has struck me as strange is I have a strong desire to go back to Greece. I haven't had this desire....well, ever before. Last week in class I looked up pictures of Volos the town I lived in and couldn't stop thinking about it. I realized that I want to go back. I want to walk the streets I walked, eat at a taverna on the sea, see if the stray dogs are still alive on the same street corners, go back to Nikotsara and look at the flat I lived in above a chicken store, see the people that are still there, drink a frappe on the boardwalk....

It was home for two years of my life.

It's a port city, I lived two blocks from the Aegean Sea

A normal view while walking on the board-walk

The train station- many interesting experiences here. It was the only way pretty much in and out of the town. I always thought it looked very western.

A Greek Orthodox church on the boardwalk two blocks from my home. I also went to a wedding here.

Over Christmas break my family was telling stories about our time there and I didn't realize how much I forgot. Maybe because I was younger, maybe because some of it was slightly traumatic, or maybe there is no reason for the way the mind works.

All I know is I want to go back. I want to pick up the language again so that I speak Greek when I'm trying to speak Spanish.
I don't have a a return plan, but if anyone wants to accompany me, lemme know parakalo! :)

Basketball

I grew up shooting hoops in my culdesac. Whenever I had a free moment I would go outside and play. My dad taught me how and he would run drills with me and play when he got home from work...A lot of times the neighborhood kids would join in too. I remember dreaming of being in the WNBA, with hard work and determination I was going to make it (I even planned the speech I was going to give my neighbor thanking him for letting me use the hoop he put up).

Well childhood dreams don't always come true, but I still love playing the game. This semester after class a few times a week I go to the gym and rent a basketball and just shoot hoops. Nothing too intense and I'm usually just alone with the company of my music. It's such a relaxing exercise where I can think about my day or life or nothing at all. Yesterday and today I played bball with my dad and some neighborhood kids.

I guess somethings never change, I regress.

Communication

I like to think that I am a good communicator. I am in touch with the English language, it's intricacies (not always grammar though, so don't judge), picking up on social cues, assessing situations and knowing what to say. I have an argumentative nature as well and know that sometimes I can be manipulative if I want, especially with my speech. I was hanging out with my best friend yesterday and she said I could talk my way out of anything. I laughed and acknowledged I do have a gift (no pride. ha).
But this gift, while it has helped me in many ways relate to people and make friendships, can also hurt me in the long run. I have said really really really stupid stuff. My filter isn't always on and I have complete garbage come out of my mouth...while sometimes I am dead on, other times, I am selfish, and just say what's on my mind rather than truly thinking of what the other person may need to hear or in many cases doesn't need to hear. Words have the power for life and death...and sometimes, the latter applies for me. I tear down, when I want to build up, or worse...my intentions are selfish and, for lack of better words: epic fail.
So to the few people that actually read this blog, while I know there aren't many, this is just a rant on how I should essentially shut-up sometimes. I am sorry and apologize if I have hurt you with my speech or not recognizing your needs above my own. I say some really stupid stuff sometimes and I acknowledge this "epic fail."
On the flip-side, most of the time when I get caught in this verbal fail, my intentions are generally right...I just lack in the communication (or lack in not knowing what to say). I am attempting to become more intutive and could kick myself for lacking sometimes. I am a work in progress.
Like a close friend once told me, once it's said, you can't take it back. You know the thought...I think of Heart of Darkness an amazing book that shows this concept antithetically. The theme "man is lost without restraint." I need to practice self-control just like Marlow did.
I love you all and will hopefully get better.

3 days

I'm going home in 3 days. Only 3 days. I haven't been to Charlotte since January...it's been a while! I don't even know if I can start to process what has happened this semester, where it has gone, what I have one or anything.
One thing I can say, is I have lost motivation...I am not doing as well in my classes as I should be. I am more tired and less motivated to study. I have two tests I haven't studied for and I had a quiz today I didn't even to bother to read the book. I am getting by (meaning, I have mostly A's with a little room for mistakes) but I have just lost motivation and I have stopped caring. It's very unlike me...maybe that's why spring break is coming!
HOME.
One of the best four letter words besides LOVE.
HOME.
Charlotte, NC. I will be seeing you soon...and yoforia! Ah, sweet yoforia. And family and friends that are so refreshing. My own bed. Lazily watching tv. Possibly working. Home. Riding my bike in the neighborhood, going to my own church, enjoying the Carolina blue skies and weather. Drinking coffee, home cooked meals. Ah, sounds like a piece of heaven.
I don't know what's in store for this break, but I know that I will experience a tad bit of home....and I just can't wait.

Give Me Faith

I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You're shaping my life

All I am,
I surrender

Give me faith to trust what you say
That you're good and your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give you my life

I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart

I need you pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me


I may be weak
Your spirit strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will


May these words be true in my life and in the life of others. I love you and praying this prayer. No shame :)

Friday Night Thoughts

I really should be asleep right now. It's 11:54 P.M. on a Friday night and I agreed to work 8-2 tomorrow morning. What was running through my mind when I agreed to wake-up early, walk or scooter into work groggy eyed on my only day off? Why did I say yes?
Well, I'v been working a lot at the Chick-fil-A recently. I have a bagillion midterms and assignments due next week, I really should be taking advantage of my Saturday to be productive in school. And I had full intentions to do that, but now, instead I'll be at Chick-fil-A. Recently, for some reason, Chick-fil-A has been an escape for me...I don't know why or what makes it that way. It's not super enjoyable necessarily, my co-workers are actually pretty crazy (not in the "hey there's my crazy friends" sense that you feel a bit proud of in a weird way for being "crazy-fun"), it's not fun like at home, it's busy and it can add stress to my life with everything else that I do.
People at work say I don't work enough...I explain I'm a full time student and I'm an SLD and co-host a radio show (so one full-time job and another part-time job...both unpaid). I play two intramural sports (broomball and softball), volunteer where necessary with whatever comes my way, hang-out with girls on the hall and sometimes manage to keep up with family and friends (not always effective though in this area).
So again...why did I agree to go into work?
I still don't know. Logically, money. Yes, I guess that is a reason to work. Making money is definitely a good thing. I think part of me also feels like while I do so much, including studying and such, it's difficult to have a tangible fruit of my labor. Most of the things I do won't ever have a price tag on them---nor should they. But sometimes, it's nice to know that something is predictable. If I work x amount of hours I will guarantee get x amount of money. It's not usually a lot, but since my life has so many different unpredictable variables it's consistent. I'll never know the impact I'm making when I do SLD stuff nor am I ever guaranteed an A if I study hard but if I clock in to Chick-fil-A I know my hourly pay will give me a predictable result. It's a time where I have to just complete the task at hand, well, because I can't do anything else but be a Chick-fil-A employee. There most likely won't be an emergency to attend to or a surprise. I know the business well, and nothing is too new there.
Sometimes too, I know that if I'm work I won't necessarily feel lonely. Because if I'm working I can't be with friends because I'm working. Nor do I have to make the effort of always scheduling something. Lately, I guess I have been feeling a little lonely and lacking or missing deeper and older friendships or friends. But on the flip-side this is one of the first times in my life I actually really enjoy spending time alone...just me. It's an an anomaly.
So here I am, after pondering and writing it's past 12 A.M. and I should really be sleeping for whatever reason, I am working tomorrow. Guaranteed.
My pleasure.

Sicko

Eh. So I am sick in bed with a stomach flu. Not exactly where I thought I was gonna be on this Sunday afternoon. I had a great weekend: friday night I worked, went to Macados with a friend, then saw Chronicles of Narnia and spent the night at a friends dorm. I woke up and felt great- a little tired, but nothing big. I had an amazing Saturday with some new dear friends. We went downtown and had a photoshoot kinda action thing. It was awesome! I felt like a little kid climbing everywhere and exploring downtown. The weather was incredible and it was so much fun! Here are a few shots!

Then afterwards we departed ways close to dinner time Saturday night and I got back in my room and felt a sudden sickness. It came out of nowhere! Hit me like a train. I couldn't make it to the bathroom before I wrecked my room. Gross. I had to clean it up, even more fun (makes me wish I was home...a good thing that Dad's are for haha). Then I felt-ish better. But I definitely wasn't...bad idea- don't eat afterwards. Two more times I threw up....Fortunately I was better prepared. It was crazy- I suddenly got so tired and sick in a matter of moments. O well. Whenever you're sick you always wish you were home or in the company of very close friends. Unfortunately everyone on my hall that I could be vulnerable enough with to let them see me sick was home this weekend. Awesome. haha. I was okay though, I didn't really want anyone to see me miserable.
I couldn't be more grateful for the texts that got me through the night last night. My dear friend 3000 miles away who took a semester off and is always the one who takes care of me while I'm sick at school used her nursing and comforting skills in the late hours of the night so I knew what to do (I am terrible when it comes to sickness stuff haha)
This morning I woke up and texted another friend who came and brought me all the goods I could want- gatorade, gingerale, crackers, and chicken noodle soup.
I am beyond blessed to have friends that care so much!
Now I am laying in bed...haven't moved for almost 24 hours. This is very out of character for me. I never take a day off...but a little forced R&R is good I guess. I really should study...we'll see if that happens! For now watching TV and drinking gatorade are my first priorities. haha