Time Warp

It's crazy how so much can change and yet stay the same.

These are just some random thoughts, so you can work with me on this one, or not understand...I apologize in advance. And to note ahead of time, I am in a good mood, so if I sound emo...I'm not haha.

One of my good friend's from last semester is visiting this weekend. She used to live on my hall and we got pretty close. It was really weird when she couldn't return because I got so used to seeing her all the time. It's kinda like you don't realize how much time you invest in spending time with someone until they're not there. It's more different I think on a hall environment than at home, just because of dynamics....maybe because on a hall you have 69 options and than you can choose a few that you connect with...I don't know, it's just different. Or maybe it's just the Liberty world...

We were conversing though, and while it felt like something was missing and the new normal of not having my  friend here set in in the beginning of the semester, when I saw her again on the hall it felt like nothing had changed. Sure, life had moved on in many ways. Catching up was definitely in order, but it just felt the same...or maybe it just felt right. Some times time is weird cause it just felt like all that time had passed didn't really pass at all, as if the waiting period or time a part, sure it was long and it existed, but the present is here and nothing is really different.

That's how a lot of waiting is. Sometimes it seems like forever until a goal is to be achieved, and yeah a lot times a lot of days, months, years etc go by.

Like high school for instance. I never thought graduation would come, but now it's been almost two years since I graduated and it feels like a world away. I have changed so much, so many things have changed, but if I were to walk into Myers Park I could transport myself back in time even for a split second.

Or even a shift at work. Sometimes I really just want to clock off , it feels like it will never end, but it always does. No matter how long the shift is, it ends...I will get out of work and move on with my day.

I even remember being in a similar situation. It's difficult to describe the exact feeling, but when I lived in Greece I was gone for so long that it felt like Charlotte didn't exist anymore. While I knew it was there, it didn't feel real, it had been too long. But then, while I waited what felt like forever until I returned home again happened, I was suddenly there and I didn't know how to process it at all.

It's just weird sometimes when so many things change all at once, people, situations, life etc how nice it can be to actually have what you were waiting on happen....and then once it does, it feels maybe different, weird, or just plain good.

I don't know if I am making any sense at all, but those good moments are coveted despite all the bad ones that teach so much. I enjoy the blessings from above.

This semester has been nothing from what I expected and I think I say that about every semester to be honest. Mainly because a lot has changed. I miss the way things were but even more than that I am so hopeful for the future, not just next year at LU but just in general. However, I am also perfectly content in "the waiting" --the majority of the living of life and what takes place.

It's also nice to be reunited with familiar, quality people. There is nothing better than being in the same physical location as that person. Just sayin. I look forward to being home again with my family next week and in Charlotte, to see my home friends. I look forward to many reunions in the future. It's a sweet feeling :)

O time warp feelings... :)

Tumblr

I have started another blog on tumblr. I will still try and maintain both, but the other one is more of little blurbs updated on a day to day basis. Tumblr is much more visual and easier to use for reblogging and such. So if ya want to check it out feel free :) I'll update on here as well though, so stay tuned.

Saturday Night Prayer

I got my guitar out tonight and just started playing. It's been months since I've played...I think I have had my guitar in my closet the whole semester.

After getting in the groove I found some peaceful and calming music and started to play and worship my King. Usually I find some chords that I play around with and many times I just sing what comes to my heart as a prayer. Most of the time I can't remember anything afterwards...it's a song just in that moment. But tonight a few words kept on coming to mind:

As I lay my head upon your chest

It's here and only here that I find rest

It's only me and you and this melody

I sing to you, my daddy, my king

I find rest

Suffering- John Piper

The truth of God's word is incredibly powerful. It gives strength and comfort---it is a real relationship. The best that exists.

Motivation

Definition (noun)::the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior



Motivation.
Something I feel as if I have been lacking lately. I really needed a break from life. Spring break came at a good time.
I got into the swing of things of life here at school, but so much had gone on that I wasn't doing so well for many reasons.
But I lost motivation to do well, to pursue certain goals, my focus was different.
I returned to school apprehensive that I would fall into a trap again, lack motivation, be lazy or distracted. But for some reason today was a good day. The motivation that I thought was going to be gone suddenly came back. I for some reason was alert in classes today for the first time in probably a month or so.
It's crazy how a week away from the what has become the routine made the routine make sense again...
I'm not a 100 percent or anything, by any means, but somehow I have that motivation that was lacking. I'll take advantage of it for as long as I can.
The main motivation that was gone was motivation for school itself (academics). For someone who loves to learn it's a very weird place to be...didn't quite feel like myself at all for that reason.
But out of nowhere I woke up, suprisingly, completely different.
Maybe I should be anxious about this more often, and then BAM- motivation will hit me!
Or maybe not. haha.
For now I'll be grateful for what I have and finish writing so I can go read my Psych book- something I'm actually somewhat excited to do!

Yes, I lived in Greece

Everyone for the most parts knows the random fact that I lived in Greece for two years during middle school. I used to talk about it all the time, well, it was my life. Every now and then I'll speak a few phrases here or there or make a joke about cultural differences, but I've for the most part readjusted to the American life (while the world view I gained has strongly dictated my life).

Upon leaving Greece I was about 75 percent fluent, not bad for two years, but I've lost quite a bit of it. When we returned to the states I started high school and began learning Spanish. It's easier to learn a third language, than second, because you know how to learn a language.

Yesterday at work I was taking an order from grandparents for their grandkids. I noticed that they were not from the states, but couldn't pin-point where. Usually I don't ask where they are from or I have a pretty good guess-timator, but for some reason I couldn't pin-point their whereabouts and decided to ask. She responded at first with, "Why?" I said I was just wondering and she said "Greece." I was thrown off for a split second cause usually my Greek-dar is really good, but I simply smiled and said I used to live there. We began conversing in Greek for a bit about different things. It was like trying to learn to ride a bike again accessing that part of the brain. I knew what I wanted to say and tried to understand what she was saying, but it's been such a long time since I've spoken real Greek to anyone (meaning I hear ancient biblical Greek phrases here and there often in the Liberty world). I reverted to some English with her and some phrases were Spanish. Literally I felt like Spanish and Greek were having a fight with each other. I was trying so hard to say something in Greek but Spanish was the only thing that was coming to mind. After a while the Greek came back with more of an ease, but I really had to think hard about it.

I still can't fathom how my grandfather spoke nine languages.

It was funny because one of my managers stood next to me and witnessed the whole thing. He commented afterwards, "Pico that was so cool! At first I thought you were speaking Spanish, then I realized I couldn't understand you." I explained, that it was indeed Greek, but the reason he thought he heard Spanish was because he did. The mind is plays interesting tricks on you!

The other thing that has struck me as strange is I have a strong desire to go back to Greece. I haven't had this desire....well, ever before. Last week in class I looked up pictures of Volos the town I lived in and couldn't stop thinking about it. I realized that I want to go back. I want to walk the streets I walked, eat at a taverna on the sea, see if the stray dogs are still alive on the same street corners, go back to Nikotsara and look at the flat I lived in above a chicken store, see the people that are still there, drink a frappe on the boardwalk....

It was home for two years of my life.

It's a port city, I lived two blocks from the Aegean Sea

A normal view while walking on the board-walk

The train station- many interesting experiences here. It was the only way pretty much in and out of the town. I always thought it looked very western.

A Greek Orthodox church on the boardwalk two blocks from my home. I also went to a wedding here.

Over Christmas break my family was telling stories about our time there and I didn't realize how much I forgot. Maybe because I was younger, maybe because some of it was slightly traumatic, or maybe there is no reason for the way the mind works.

All I know is I want to go back. I want to pick up the language again so that I speak Greek when I'm trying to speak Spanish.
I don't have a a return plan, but if anyone wants to accompany me, lemme know parakalo! :)

Basketball

I grew up shooting hoops in my culdesac. Whenever I had a free moment I would go outside and play. My dad taught me how and he would run drills with me and play when he got home from work...A lot of times the neighborhood kids would join in too. I remember dreaming of being in the WNBA, with hard work and determination I was going to make it (I even planned the speech I was going to give my neighbor thanking him for letting me use the hoop he put up).

Well childhood dreams don't always come true, but I still love playing the game. This semester after class a few times a week I go to the gym and rent a basketball and just shoot hoops. Nothing too intense and I'm usually just alone with the company of my music. It's such a relaxing exercise where I can think about my day or life or nothing at all. Yesterday and today I played bball with my dad and some neighborhood kids.

I guess somethings never change, I regress.