O Dorm 3 of last year

Well I just came back from an old dorm reunion and it was absolutely amazing to see everyone all together. It's crazy how much it felt like a real family reunion...those were people I lived with for a year and developed life-long friendships with. Now that's not to say that this year is bad at all and I really can't compare it. I absolutely love the girls of Dorm 3 now, it's just different. As awesome as it would be to all be together again it was only for a year which is the really cool thing because now we've all moved away for the most part to different halls and have continued on with our lives developing new friendships and pursuing new things. I'm grateful for the amazing foundation I had my freshman year and how much it solidified my faith being amongst great company all the time. I feel as if I can face any challenge that comes my way because I know that my God is with me. The amazing thing about that is that God shows us that by being a messenger through his people and last year I met and developed friendships with people who have shown that to me and have loved me as the Lord would.
That's what was so awesome about the family we were last year- the community we had in Christ. We had some pretty fun times, late night talks, randomness, constant tiredness and deliriousness from always soaking up and enjoying each other's presence, and laughing way too much. I also met people where we have a bond where we can be there for each other no matter what time of the day--to be hold each other while we cry and face our trials or comfort one another in love. These friendships continue to this day and for that I am grateful.
... sometimes though I wish that with certain people we could just go back in time and start over again or be in a time where things were good. Being around those people tonight it almost felt the same, but I know that it's not. It was cool though if only for a minute did it feel like the good ol' days...But I can't live in the past nor do I want to... people change but and so do friendships.
Changing of friendships isn't necessarily a bad thing though, I guess just in some cases... Some of the girls I knew last year I am so much better friends with this year and I can't imagine life without them...summer changes things for sure!
I'm living for the here and now. Memories are quite awesome and I can't wait to write some more. God is so awesome to allow me the opportunity to live this life and to not only meet some amazing women of God, but have the chance to live with some of the best 70 girls ever :)

Loving Life

So this will be a quick post... but it's been a while since I've last written. I just wanted to say that I have absolutely been loving life. After fall break I came back to school refresed and rejuvenated. I went through a low point and was feeling pressure on all ends. I realized that I couldn't do things on my own and every moment of every day must be centered around the gospel...giving God glory for everything and every moment. Putting Him first and living every moment as if it was my last is a difficult thing to remember sometimes, but He has shown me how involved He is in my life...and for that I'm grateful. The Lord is so good, all the time and I can have His joy regardless of my human emotions I may be experiencing. Lately I've been enjoying the blessing of happiness, realizing that is a true gift from God and anything can happen to change it. But still, I will remain faithful and joyful despite my emotional being because I know who my God is and that He is awesome all the time.

It's a Process

I have to write an English paper. I went to church in the morning, lunch, dorm, C-LAB. I read the poem, read the article. I highlighted and annotated. I checked facebook a few times in between. I got coffee. I am sitting here now writing. Yesterday I had the plan to write this paper so that I could enjoy my Sunday and not stress. I went for a run. I did my biology homework. I took a friend out for her birthday and then watched Eclipse. I returned to my dorm and enjoyed my Saturday night with the random late night activities that accompany dorm life. I am not at a loss for words when I speak of my life. When I contemplate where I am and how I am feeling. In terms of writing a critical dialogue on "Thanatopsis" by William Cullen Bryant I am not at a loss for words. However, trying to merge my thoughts and talk about them on paper with the person who wrote this article I have to speak of, I am not quite sure. It's a process. I want to eat dinner. But I also want to go to Bible Study. I still have to do my Spanish homework which I don't quiero hacer. It's a process.

Contemplating the process of writing this paper, I don't know if I have gotten better at the process of writing or not. I have experience. I know how to do it...yet each time when I sit to do it I don't love the process or the brain power. I enjoy the final product. The understanding of what I have done. The reflecting. The return of a good-grade for hard work and effort. The process generally enjoys a few times I really want to give up, procrastinate, or avoid it. I know I have done it before, but each paper is different. Maybe the skills I had in the past were sharper, better, not as easily distracted due to ignorance of other things.

Writing a paper is analogous to life. It's a process...I don't like what I am necessarily going through and I try to avoid it or work through it little by little. I have coping mechanisms. I have fun times sporadically in between, I reflect, I move on, I try again, I mess-up, I edit, I get up to get coffee, I start over, I fail, I get an A, I work hard even if I don't see why I am working...


....it's a process....

Home

Well, I got what I needed...and being in the midst of it I have a free moment to blog about life. Yes, I am home in Charlotte, NC. I had been debating this trip for the entire week. The plan was to surprise my parents, but they were thinking about going to the beach, but couldn't make up their minds so I just told them I was coming home. It's weird cause I never really wanted to come home last year. Not because I didn't want to see Charlotte etc, but I never actually missed it. I remember the days when Thanksgiving break felt like forever away from my friends on the dorm, Christmas was even worse, spring break an adjustment?, Summer was just plain good ol' conditioning, and now look at me---I want to be home...strange how things are. But on the flip-side the reason I came home was because I needed to be refreshed. I needed to sleep in my own bed, watch some mindless TV, do homework in a different location from the CLAB quiet study zone, drive a car around town, go to Walmart, go to my church, spend some quality time with my family, and of course I can't not mention Yoforia (which I got last night after being back within an hour, and will prob get at least 2 more times). It's crazy to think that two places can feel just as much like home to me and I can go to either one and be content. I am here to be refreshed and to just get away for a day from things I love (ie. dorm life, friends, the Rot (ok no) ) but sometimes ya need to just get away. I've been learning a lot this semester about who I am and what I'm made of. It's a long process and I'm still in the midst of it (as always), but that's alright God's not done with me yet.
Well I'm off, my mom's brewing some coffee and I know there is going to be an AMAZING breakfast awaiting me downstairs!!! ahh. I love being home :)

Vacation

it would be totally awesome to have a vacation right now. from life, school, work, everything....well, these are the thoughts i have at the beginning of the day without any coffee in me. lately it's been taking a few cup of coffees to get through the day....i feel stressed on all ends, yet God is extremely faithful in all things and i praise Him through it all. i know that i've been challenged in ways i couldn't have expected and it's not bad things necessarily, just things that i need to work out and are tend to stress me out, even a week later. this semester has been an interesting one so far but also the absolute time of my life. i am completely content with everything that's going on i just need a little bit of a break. today is one of those days i wish i had a car so i could just drive and drive and drive off campus, away from the norm, relax in a park, go to walmart and buy stuff i need. just simple things. i miss home, but i love it here. gotta love the two worlds.

Just what I needed

I have been loving life here at Liberty so much! Despite the crazy schedule, countless meetings, ministry and classes I want to simply state two things I love at the moment and am very thankful to God for:

1. The pool. Yes, east campus swimming pool. It was really nice weather, not exactly pool weather the first few weeks but summer has arrived again and I have taken this opportunity to go to the pool. I went yest with some girls and today by myself. It was physically refreshing being in the water and swimming, relaxing, and I was able to spend sometime with God, lay out, and read for school. Over all an amazing thing!

2. The futon. I love having a couch in my room! It's incredible and feels so homey just to be able to sit on something else besides my bed and I love having it. It's a very inviting to the room and I am grateful for this gift from God from a dear friend

3. Yes, I know I'd say two--but I love building new friendships and seeing good friends as well. The community at Liberty is indescribable to any where else in the world. And I am grateful for all the laughs I have had the past few days :)

His Strength

Liberty is a busy place. No doubt. God is at work and that is awesome! But sometimes all you need is a good breakdown in the middle of the Rot and some amazing beyond amazing friends to be the support in the times of stress and challenges. Lots of people who read this blog, already know about my crazy day, but for those back at home I'll explain a little. Upon arriving at LU I haven't had barely any free time. As an SLD I had to take on a lot of responsibility because the RA's are on lock down. So I have been the social networker for freshmen activities including moving 40 on the hall along with moving Prayer Leaders and a few others. I've been working out a lot (thankful that Dorm 3 is close to many things and many hands make light work). I spent maybe 5 mins in my room yest from training to hall activities etc and it's been a busy time. A double shot of caffeine from Starbucks was my rock yest to get me through the crazy life that I live (and love living). I went to bed around 1:30 as soon as I could after a leadership meeting and was looking forward to sleeping in til about 8:15 giving me enough time to get to more training by 9. Last year I had an amazing hall and network and support from my hall. I made friends that will last a lifetime, because our bond is stronger than any I've had before in Christ. However, while some of the people are the same, the leadership has changed greatly and it isn't always as comfortable as a groove I have gotten into...plus I have a lot more responsibility now. Some of the people that are my instinct to lean back on aren't here now and that's okay, because they are either still on campus or a short phone call away. God has been teaching me to rely on Him. During training yesterday I wrote "His Strength" on my arm as a reminder that I can't do any of this on my own. It's impossible. But with Him I can. His strength, his sufficiency is enough for me to handle anything.

6 something AM hits and my RA walks in my room and asks my roommate and I "which one of you is going to go to the hospital?" Running off little sleep, I was confused and didn't know what she was talking about. I also forgot that it is the SLD responsibility to go to the hospital. She explained one of the girls fell off her bed while sleeping and cut open her head badly and the ambulance was waiting. I thought through it with my roommate and we decided that I would go to the hospital and she would pick us up when she was ready since I don't have car...plus I know I can handle blood. And yes, there was a lot of blood. All over the room, her hair, shirt, spewing everywhere. Still barely awake I got in the front seat of the ambulance with a driver who told me she was directionally challenged. Always a comfort since I don't know my whereabouts in the burg. But I looked at my arm, and it was fading, but I read "His Strength." The focus left me and was put on Christ. His strength. We arrived to the hospital and she received great care. Her head wound was pretty deep and wide. 11 staples later, she didn't show any signs of concussion or head injury beyond the wound. I received careful instructions on what to watch for etc. It hit me a few times in the hospital--I'm an adult now, I need to be aware and responsible. So weird to grow up. We were picked up, hit up Chickfila for breakfast and back to campus. I proceeded to wash her hair in the sink to ensure the wound was not touched by soap and all the blood was gone. When I finished I was instructed I still needed to attend training. All I wanted to do was go to bed. His Strength. I stopped and got some coffee on the way from a dear friend and went to training. I met up with some friends from my Dorm last year and I was thinking I was okay and trying to keep it together...made it to the Rot and saw one of my friends and literally melted in her arms and couldn't stop crying. Literally in the middle of the Rot. Who feels like a bigger idiot in the middle of 100's beyond 100's students who I know many of them....Proceeded to the bathroom and cried and vented. I was beyond thankful for such a great friend who was there to listen and for the support that was at the table. It could have been anyone at the table I was at and I realized how blessed I am to have that support behind me. Just knowing that it is through His strength and the encouragement behind me of brothers and sisters in Christ. After lunch, I had a great talk and encouraging texts from multiple people.... It's hard for an independent person, but God is teaching me that's what He is for and "that's what friends are for" :).

I am so thankful for today and everything that happened despite an unusual wake up call. Thank you Jesus and thank you friends. I love you so much.