The American Dream

The American Dream. 

This break I’ve been thinking a lot about this…traditionally the American Dream consists of the white picket fence, 2 1/2 kids, perfect job etc. You know the drill. The older I get and “closer” I get to asserting whatever “dreams” I want or have the more this dream really makes me angry. 

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having things or kids or a white picket fence living in America or even having dreams the perfect retirement location..nothing wrong with that at all. But our society has grown into an entitlement mentality where we think we deserve this dream…this dream is something to be attained, it’s deserved. It’s expected. We’ve lost the whole idea of work in general.

Besides that though, as a Christian this dream just simply doesn’t seem appealing at all. Now again, don’t get me wrong. With the Lord’s calling on my life I know I will probably live in America…it might be nice to even have a big house and have kids. My life might look somewhat like the “American Dream” but it’s the very thing I don’t want too. I don’t want this “perfect” looking life. Rather I want a life that glorifies the Lord in everything. 

If God financially blesses me with the opportunity to buy a big house. Okay. So be it. But let it be filled always with so many people. Let it be used for Bible studies, to take in my neighbors, a place full of love and people, a place where I can house missionaries…take in the homeless. Let God rock that house. It’s not mine, it’s His. 

I could go on for a while about all of this… but the main issue that keeps on coming up is I don’t want a “comfortable” life. (To be perfectly honest, I really would love to go into missions in every single way possible. But for whatever reason, God has said no. He made that clear as day…essentially as if He told me in an audible voice. And with that I have confidence in my next steps, although missions seem to be the “dream” I want…but again, it’s not about me).

I want to be stretched, to live biblically… The church has seem to lost this. I was listening to a Francis Chan sermon and he suggested if you read the Bible on a desert island and that’s all you know about Christianity or the church and then you walk into our church today, you’d be really confused. There is a ridiculous amount of truth in that. I want to be Christ-like, not the image of Christ we have created.

I’ve got one life to live. And now’s the chance to make the difference. Today. Tomorrow. The rest of my years, how ever many I had. As much as I miss Charlotte, moving away was probably the best thing for me…because I can get out of my comfort zone and cut my ties in way. I want to be used by God because I know Him and the power of his resurrection in such a real way… I want to proclaim the gospel in every single way possible. For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain.

And retirement? I don’t know if I want that. As awesome as a paradise resort would be drinking pina coladas, wouldn’t living my last days working for the gospel of Christ be the only logical conclusion to this life here on earth before crossing into God’s kingdom? 

This isn’t home. It’s a temporal place where we are here to proclaim Christ, be love to everyone. 

The only way to live is to be constantly aware of the next life. 

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither - C.S. Lewis

The Man Who Stole My Heart

Meet Erick Casa, my little man. 

God has been laying on my heart for quite sometime to sponsor a child…and every time I mean to do it, I don’t. On my drive to and from nova to Charlotte I downloaded some sermons, not knowing the topics, just knowing the pastors were legit. Both sermons were about being the church outside of the walls and the commandment to love God, love people. Take care of widows and orphans. Help the poor.

I couldn’t help think about how I want to travel and go do something out in the world as well as well as my community. God has laid so much on my heart, and I want to do so much for kingdom. I’m not going to wait, even if I can’t go, I’ll find a way to do something. Even if it’s a little something, I want to do it. One thing God has blessed me with is a job—and with that I try to find ways to bless people with my finances in my circle, but I want it to extend beyond that.

So to make sure I didn’t forget or get distracted, I quickly put a note on my phone. 

Choosing a child might have been the hardest. But not really at the same time. I went in with one purpose, while looking at all the cute faces was so much fun, I’m sponsoring a child that has the same birthday as mine. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love birthdays in general and I love my own. So in choosing a child I wanted to have an automatic connection with him…and a birthday is a strong connection. Erick was the only one I found with my birthday. I could’t take my eyes off this little guy. Erick will turn 5 when I turn 21 :)

To top it off, Erick is from Bolivia- a Spanish speaking country! So I can write letters to him in his language. 

My prayer for this year is for me to be used in ways I can’t imagine…to know God and make him known in more ways than I ever have before. 

Let this year be different. Let it be good. May God’s name be proclaimed to the ends of the earth. 

Take this heart
Set it on fire
Shining in the dark
I wanna tell the world of who You are
All I am is Yours

I give You all my life
I’m letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

Carolina in my mind

I guess my last post was musical in nature, so here's to keeping a trending topic.

I'm currently listening to James Taylor "Carolina In My Mind." While this song has meant more to me since leaving the Carolina's officially the past summer, it has much sentimental value. 

Trip down memory lane: My junior year in high school my friends Sharon and Rasesh were all studying and doing homework at my little apartment. We had a fun time multitasking with Ultimate Frisbee of course, so after that time we came back inside and started working. The phone rings. Caller I.D. O boy, it's my crazy New York Uncle calling. Probably best if I let it go to the answering machine. These were the days where my family still had a house phone and answering machine where you can hear the other person leaving a message...basically scanning the calls at its finest. 

So not knowing what would happen next, I just let the phone ring and hope that he would hang up. Well my Uncle never does that. So next thing you know we hear this terribly  hilarious New York accent without any introduction begin to sing, "innn mmmyyy minnnddd I'm goiiiinnnggg to Carolllinnna." He proceeded to sing for us on the answering machine for what felt like forever. But a good forever because Rasesh, Sharon, and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing. Naturally, he didn't say anything. No introduction, no closing "Call me back." He just sang. 

I explained after the laughter that's just the way my Uncle is and luckily we could appreciate his humor that night. 

Speaking of my Uncle, later down the road when I was on the radio last semester he would call multiple times to the station and ask for me...or talk to my friends on the other line...they didn't know what was going on and  literally had a "look." They handed me the phone and through the New York mumbling somehow made it out, "Pico, I think the phone is for you." He eventually stopped calling. Hilarious moments. 

All that to say, I am no longer going to Carolina in my mind. I hit the road, Lord willing, this Wednesday to go see the Carolina blue skies and be reunited with friends. I haven't been "home" since June and I am very much so anticipating it. 

But at the end of the day, God has been teaching me so much since leaving. Sometimes picking up roots and leaving the town and people I so dearly love can rock  your world and give you so much fresh perspective on life. While the process has not always been fun, the Lord has been faithful...and the best part is I can always go back to Carolina. 

I'm expecting it to be a good trip of reconnecting, lots of laughter, helping two friends prepare for their summer wedding. But at the same time, I know God might have other plans. I want to be used by Him this trip. My prayer is that He will teach me and use me in ways I can never imagine. I also pray that this trip will be an energizing and refreshing time. As always, He is directing my steps. For whatever this little trip has in store for me, I couldn't be more excited right now. I was hit hard with homesickness in random sprouts throughout that past month at Liberty, but now that I'm in NOVA and I'm content here...it's been good to be with family! So for now, I'm going to Carolina in my mind. But come Wednesday...i've gone to Carolina. 

Dark and silent late last night

I think I might have heard the highway calling

Geese in flight and dogs that bite

Signs that might be omens say I'm going, going

I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind

-James Taylor

The life of a melodramatic nerd

To B or not to B. 

I used to hate those kids in high school that talk about a B. Seriously would make me so angry...I would do anything for a B sometimes, and yet now I am saddened...haha. The life of a melodramatic nerd.

An 89 might possibly be the sickest joke...actually the point system is 890/1000...ten more points in one area...ten small points for the one assignment I slacked on.

Come on prof! Come on Pico! (Yes, I refer to myself by my last name...judge away).

The worst part is it's in Health 400. My lowest scoring classes in college are kind of entertaining at best: Spanish (I look Hispanic and fool most people that I am Spanish when I speak or exist for that matter...No I'm not Hispanic creepy guys that were checking me out at the Chinese restaurant today); Theology (I am an SLD and have been studying scriptures since birth); and Health (...okay, i wasn't really into infectious diseases and had my dear friend Chloe get me out of class for that....but I guess that says a lot about how I take care of myself? I'm an addict...to coffee. I didn't listen).

So here closes the part where I give myself a reality check. A 'B' is not the worst thing that could happen in my life and to be perfectly honest I am not even really upset about it (despite devoting a whole post to it). I even look forward to the humorous comments my parents are going to make... The Spanish conversation was the best. 

Here's to a great semester, in all honesty, I am blessed that I have the privilege of getting the education that I have! And a B matches my name. Boom!

Sing for joy- every girl every boy

I always tend to write a new post when I start breaks. So why break a new tradition? Transitions require a blog post.

I'm not exactly inspired at the moment to write anything deep or profound...or serious reflections of something that has happened, so I'll paint the picture for you of my life.


A beautiful December night the snow has turned this city white


Yesterday I took my last exam at around 1030 AM. By the time the exam came around, I was mentally checked out. But it was okay- I was stress free afterwards. Before that I woke up around 8 after having dreamed the whole night about bringing different people to the airport. With the real-life interactions, I'd say I pulled a mental all-nighter haha.

Let them ring. 

Finals week everyone has a different personality. It's quite entertaining at best. I joke it's a good thing I don't go to an Ivy League school, because everyone would have the "I just studied my guts out/I'm stressing about this" 24/7. They would also probably cope with partying as hard as they study.

I said I paint a picture of my life, and I failed to do that already. I'm sitting in my very clean room (white glove room checks) on my still made bed (don't want to get rid of the comfort quite yet) listening to Phil Wickham's Christmas album. The door is open and I can hear the few people on the hall. My wonderful-awesome-hilarious roomie is walking in and out getting ready for the day.

Today I woke up at 8 AM. Why? Because my friends wanted one last family breakfast with a good guy friend from our bro dorm before he headed out for Puerto Rico. And despite Kate (my roomie) and I groaning as we arose about our love for our bed, we we're ready for the quality time with each other.

Yesterday was a highlight of my semester. Maybe because I finished finals...nah. Probably because as tired as my eyes were, I was able to relax and just enjoy the people around me on the hall that God has graciously given me. I have this peaceful-thankful heart and would love to just live and cherish this moment forever.

They looked up and saw a star shining in the east 

Break is coming up. And I feel good about it. It's my first Christmas not in Charlotte....and man do I miss home. Homesickness has swept over hardcore the past few weeks. But I get to go home the end of the month. For that I'm stoked. The days pass quicker and too quick though. I'm going on a month break from school and part of me wishes it was August so I could cherish these moments one more time over. But that's okay, because as I sit here enjoying Phil's Christmas jam....

Sing for joy 

I'm a fan of every season- it ushers in a fresh perspective on life and appreciation for the present. And I'll stop before getting to philosophical.

O Come let us adore Him now

"I loveee you!!" Is what I just heard in the hall after I just got up to say goodbye to another friend.

Conclusion: It's been a different kind of semester (and honestly, I used to fear those words, but it's okay because it's a good different), a joyous time of learning, of ups and downs like every season, a time of self-introspection where God gently points me back to His grace, and a time where I will look back and say
"Man, college- those were some of the best years of my life. I'm grateful for the people who changed my life and these unique experiences of growth, fun, laughter, tears, trials, and joy."

30 more days and I return. Excited for the break and excited to return. Let's bring it.

Let's all within us praise his holy name. 

Thanksgiving Break

Tomorrow I go back to Northern Virginia to commence my Thanksgiving break. I am super excited to spend time with my family and just relax...and do homework (hopefully). I'll probably explore DC or the nova area because there is always something to do around there. My goal is to find a good study spot--cute coffee shop? I think yes.

As excited as I am to have a bit of a break from college I haven't been able to get Charlotte off my mind this whole week. Everyone I'm talking to is anticipating going home and have plans with to catch up with their family, spend time with friends etc. I have some plans as well but I haven't been dwelling on it too much cause so I don't get homesick...It's a weird place to be knowing that I won't be riding south to the crisp...but probably still hot Charlotte air and its surroundings that literally brings a smile off my face when I exit on 485 to Stonecrest.

In this hybrid state of my family moving and still having ties elsewhere, sometimes I make myself nervous with the little details I forget. The other day I literally couldn't even remember the name of the town my family moved to, to save my life...and usually as a nerd I am ridiculously good with details.

I have been blessed with good solid friends from Liberty that live in nova and some new friends from the summer I hope to catch up with. I just can't get over the familiarity of home...driving to Qdoba, Chickfila, Calvary, Starbucks, my friends houses where I just seem to be at peace, catching up with people that know me. I joked that I'll probably wind up skyping all my Charlotte friends over break. Truth is, that's probably true. I'll be back in the area for Christmas break for a little bit which is not that far off at all. It's not the end of the world not being able to go "home." With all the change, I am grateful for the familiarity of nova now and the adventures that can occur and am thankful for God's blessings.

Sometimes I just miss home and all that it entails.

To whom it may concern:

Sometimes I wonder if you exist.

I really hate it when my insecurities get the best of me.

I know there are godly men out there...I know them....but none of them are for me. Yet.

So maybe one of these days we'll have our "cute meet" and we'll both have that twinkle in our eyes.

And then you can write the long letter of thanks and send the multiple texts for organizing things to get the special moment for ready for me.


Yeah, I know life isn't a fairy tale or a chick flick.  Praise God for that.

But for now, I'm content waiting.

God's way.

Sometimes its hard...but I'll be ready for you when it's our time.

Til then, I'm continuing on this adventure called life and figuring out my steps.