It's a Process

I have to write an English paper. I went to church in the morning, lunch, dorm, C-LAB. I read the poem, read the article. I highlighted and annotated. I checked facebook a few times in between. I got coffee. I am sitting here now writing. Yesterday I had the plan to write this paper so that I could enjoy my Sunday and not stress. I went for a run. I did my biology homework. I took a friend out for her birthday and then watched Eclipse. I returned to my dorm and enjoyed my Saturday night with the random late night activities that accompany dorm life. I am not at a loss for words when I speak of my life. When I contemplate where I am and how I am feeling. In terms of writing a critical dialogue on "Thanatopsis" by William Cullen Bryant I am not at a loss for words. However, trying to merge my thoughts and talk about them on paper with the person who wrote this article I have to speak of, I am not quite sure. It's a process. I want to eat dinner. But I also want to go to Bible Study. I still have to do my Spanish homework which I don't quiero hacer. It's a process.

Contemplating the process of writing this paper, I don't know if I have gotten better at the process of writing or not. I have experience. I know how to do it...yet each time when I sit to do it I don't love the process or the brain power. I enjoy the final product. The understanding of what I have done. The reflecting. The return of a good-grade for hard work and effort. The process generally enjoys a few times I really want to give up, procrastinate, or avoid it. I know I have done it before, but each paper is different. Maybe the skills I had in the past were sharper, better, not as easily distracted due to ignorance of other things.

Writing a paper is analogous to life. It's a process...I don't like what I am necessarily going through and I try to avoid it or work through it little by little. I have coping mechanisms. I have fun times sporadically in between, I reflect, I move on, I try again, I mess-up, I edit, I get up to get coffee, I start over, I fail, I get an A, I work hard even if I don't see why I am working...


....it's a process....